If you're a big fan of chaotic shopping clusterfucks the likes of REI's garage sales and Black Friday openings, and you happen to like beer, then, boy, do I have the event for you: tonight's dock sale at Bristol Brewing Company.
It's starts at 5 p.m. and surely won't last long, as cases of an assortment of beers will cost only $20 — cash only.
A little explanation for those who just can't fathom the savings:
We bring back beer from liquor stores when it's beginning to be "close to date," because we want to ensure that the beer cooler closest to you has the freshest possible product on its shelves. This is sad for the beer because it has failed to attain its destiny in providing you a moment of unparalleled barley-and-hops-induced pleasure. We empathize. It's still perfectly drinkable, so we sell it to you at a deep discount with the understanding that you'll go through it relatively quickly. We don't want to hear about you leaving it in the back of your beer fridge for 6 months, m'kay? You're happy, the beer's happy, and we're happy because we got to play matchmaker. ... Be there or spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if'.
I've heard these dock sales are about as hectic as the annual Venetucci Pumpkin Ale release at the brewery, which I've elbowed and clawed my way through (lovingly, of course) a few times. Beer and discounts on it do strange things to people — so watch out.