The best of the bunch has turned out to be ESPN3's site, which streams games flawlessly, in stunning high definition, and with little color-coded markers in the navigation bar so you can go back and watch key plays.
Just one drawback. When ABC is broadcasting a match (such as Saturday's bout between England and the USA), ESPN goes dark.
It took me ages to find a workaround, during which time I tried everything from justin.tv to a bizarre site that purported to be South African television but ended up making you surrender your name, address and favorite Kentucky Fried Chicken product (not kidding) before offering to take your money (AKA credit card info).
Finally, I found a fairly buried Univision stream, that telecasts the matches ESPN can't. And it works well, so long as you either understand Spanish or have a high tolerance for cognitive dissonance.
Yep, another workaround: You can watch the Univision feed with the sound off, and simultaneously stream audio commentary from ESPN radio. The only problem is that ESPN radio inexplicably lags behind a full minute behind.
Still, it was worth it to catch this weekend's games, especially Ghana beating Serbia (1-0) to become the first African team to win a World Cup match on African soil. (South Africa tried on Friday, but drew a 1-1 tie with Mexico.)
Or you could just look for an Irish pub that opens at 8 a.m.
Meanwhile, here's a genuinely odd clip of World Cup mascot Zakumi's official launch: