I was made for maple bacon ice cream. Hell, I'll make more of me, just to more efficiently destroy quarts of the frozen crack product. And I'm not even a sweets person — my idea of the perfect birthday cake is one made entirely out of buffalo wings (true story).
But when I received a message from Josh & John's Naturally Homemade Ice Cream in my inbox, I knew action must be taken. (Note the last line) :
So I ran down the block like a slobbering marathon runner on the last leg of the race. I nigh crawled down Pikes Peak Avenue before throwing myself through the door, croaking "bacon ... bacon ..." They thought I said "achin'," threw an ice pack at me, and put me in the corner.
Ten minutes later, I came to and grabbed a sample of the world's most heavenly marriage of cow and pig. (Besides, that is, the rare, but delicious, ham-wrapped udder.) Imagine maple syrup has slowly tripped down your plate into a steaming stack of thick-cut bacon, doing laps in a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Then stop, because that's my fantasy, and you should just get your own. Here — you're welcome: