Halloween sucks, right? It just sucks. You've got to drop cash on that Lady Gaga meat dress you've been eyeing for a few months, or you're on the hook for hours of hair-doing after you finally rope all your friends in to a Jersey Shore ensemble. (Worst of all: You go Zombie Steve Jobs — too soon.)
And this is before we even get into all the intrinsic horrible-ness that is the fall holiday: the devil worshipping, the candy gorging, the sexy-ing of all things female (though I think Pink Sexy Crayon is a winner) and the like.
So thank God — and the Holy Ghost, and, specifically, Jesus — for JesusWeen. Sounding like a combination body part and savior of the believers, JesusWeen is the invention of Texas pastor Paul Ade, according to Dallas/Fort Worth station KDAF-TV.
The group's website explains further. "Every year, the world and its system have a day set aside (October 31st) to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters while Christians all over the world participate, hide or just stay quiet on Halloween day."
Of course, some people are still a little confused what the hell the good pastor is talking about. Brian Hurst asked on the group's Facebook page, "so what do you find immoral about halloween," and like any good religious group, JesusWeen deferred. (In a rather British fashion, actually.)
"@Brian: Any PRACTISING Christian regardless of faith base, even if they like Halloween, can still easily point out the parts of Halloween that are immoral and contrary to the Word of The Living God," reads the response. "Ask a Practising Christian near you and they will show you. I am not talking about the one that has a Christian name and goes to church once a year during Christmas. I am talking about a PRACTISING Christian or some priest you know in your area."
So get on board ... or off board. Or, you know, just get your costume ready for some serious sinning this Halloween. After all, if you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.
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