Monday, October 1, 2012

Bonus CineFiles: Area 407, Piranha 3DD and The Life and Death of a Porno Gang!

Posted By on Mon, Oct 1, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Most weeks, I review more DVDs than the Indy can fit into print. You can look for extra write-ups here, on the IndyBlog.

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Area 407 (NR)
IFC Films

I am forced to watch, at least, two to three found-footage movies a week. Not all of them are horror, but most of them are horrible. Most of them lack a logical reason for anyone to be filming an event 24/7 to justify the entire film to be captured in that style. The new film Area 407 is the first film I've seen to provide a good reason: because the main character is a tween girl. If you know tween girls, they can’t put down a damn camera for more than two minutes. Lucky for us, because she (logically) documents a plane crash that lands the survivors into the titular top-secret government facility where they start to realize that the airline disaster is the very least of their worries. An exciting, creative mixture of The Blair Witch Project and Jurassic Park, Area 407 is found-footage done right, and worth finding on your own.


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Piranha 3DD (R) (Blu-Ray)
Anchor Bay Home Entertainment

A remake of the 1978 Roger Corman-produced Jaws-rip-off, Piranha 3D was a trashy good time, filled with boobs, blood and more boobs, knowing full well that this was a genre of horror film that is best played for more laughs than thrills. It was a surprise cult sleeper hit and an even bigger one on DVD. Of course, a sequel was inevitable. The apropos-titled Piranha 3DD is more of the same, with far less subtlety and professionalism thanks to direction by horror maverick John Gulager. It’s a couple of years after the first film’s spring break massacre. A hyper-sleazy waterpark is gearing up for its big grand opening, but a crack in the Earth, unleashing the titular prehistoric killer fish, has other ideas for the day’s festivities. It’s all very on the nose, but it’s all very fun too. Gary Busey and David Hasselhoff make cameos, and there’s even 15 minutes of end credits, which is crazy, because the movie is only a total of 83 minutes long.


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The Life and Death of a Porno Gang (NR) (Blu-Ray)
Synapse Films

Between the reprehensible A Serbian Film and now this, The Life and Death of a Porno Gang, this new wave of Serb filmmakers seem intent on picturing the country as a post-apocalyptic, industrially dead wasteland of a culture reverting to the basest of primitive states, with an economy that thrives completely on porno and snuff films. While Porno Gang is nowhere near as brutal as Serbian Film, it’s still not a movie I can recommend to anyone, out of fear of being responsible for giving another human being PTSD. A group of performers traveling the countryside, putting on sexually driven stage-plays dies off one after another, be it from disease or suicide or drugs, all from the guilt of having to subsidize their art by staging and filming snuff movies for rich American creepers. It’s the stuff nightmares are made of, and the stuff that makes real-life unbearable. No more Serbian films for me.

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