Contest

Friday, July 24, 2015

Make way for the Pet Rock Olympics

Posted By on Fri, Jul 24, 2015 at 10:52 AM

CAROLYN FRANKS / SHUTTERSTOCK
  • Carolyn Franks / shutterstock

Question: How many times in past years have you cursed yourself for forgetting to take part in the Colorado State Fair’s Pet Rock Olympics?

Don’t let it happen again! Pre-registration is now open for this year’s competition, which will award winners with a total of nearly $250 in cash prizes — plus ribbons! — to winners in the “Best Dressed” and “Farthest Distance Roller” categories.

While the judging itself won’t take place until August 30, now is definitely the time to register and start training. Some ground rules to bear in mind:

* Contestants must bring their own rocks. (None will be provided.)

* All rocks must be free from man-made or caused alterations.

* Previous “Best Dressed” winning rocks are not eligible for competition in 2015.

* The rock traveling the greatest distance from start to stop, with no pushing or nudging, will be declared the winner.

• The farthest roller becomes the property of the Colorado State Fair. (Hmmm…)

You can find more information here.
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

UPDATE: Good at math? Love pizza? Win $250.

Posted By on Tue, Oct 14, 2014 at 12:42 PM


A spokesperson for Poor Richard's wants to make a slight change to the contest rules we just posted: each pizza can have UP TO five toppings. Sorry about that. Carry on.



——- ORIGINAL POST, TUESDAY, 12:42 P.M. ——-

unnamed_3_.jpg


Poor Richard's
is challenging its customers to do a little math.

The question: How many different combinations can you get on a Poor Richard's pizza? Each pizza can have any number and any combination of 32 toppings, but it must have only one of the three varieties of cheese offered, only one of the three varieties of crust options, and only one of the two sauce options. 

Got an answer? Drop it off with your name and phone number at the restaurant in the "pizza math geek" box. A winner will be drawn from the correct answers on Nov. 26.

In addition to collecting a $250 gift card as a prize, the winner will also be named on the Poor Richard's Facebook page.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Indy Music Ballot Goes Live

Posted By on Wed, Jun 18, 2014 at 12:14 PM

IMAGE: SPIRIT OF AMERICA
  • image: spirit of america

Yes, it’s Year Four, and Indy Music Awards voting begins… now.

You’ll find all of the 2014 nominees, along with write-in categories, on page 36 of this week’s issue, as well as online right here.

The ballot takes all of five minutes to complete — and much less if you limit yourself to the five-vote minimum — so why wait?

Voting runs through July 13, results will be announced in our August 27 Local Music Issue, and winners will go on to perform at this year’s Indy Music Festival on September 4.

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Monday, December 9, 2013

Local pool players attempt Guinness world record

Posted By on Mon, Dec 9, 2013 at 1:23 PM

"NAPA of the Rockies Iron Men" - COURTESY RACHELLE BIBER
  • Courtesy Rachelle Biber
  • "NAPA of the Rockies Iron Men"
Little did I know Colorado Springs' claim to fame may now be as the home of Guinness World Record holder for longest consecutive hours of pool played. Since Friday evening at 6, four teams of two have been facing off at Corner Pocket West, trying to beat the world record of 74 hours and 50 minutes previously set by two men in the United Kingdom in 2011.

Sponsored by the North American Pool Shooters Association (NAPA) of the Rockies, the teams have been playing not only for bragging rights but for charity as well, says Evelyn Rubino, local player supporting the teams. Two teams dropped out at 14 hours and 36 hours, with one enlisting donations for Dreams for Kids and the other for the Susan G. Komen foundation. 
"NAPA of the Rockies Iron Men" - COURTESY RACHELLE BIBER
  • Courtesy Rachelle Biber
  • "NAPA of the Rockies Iron Men"


The two remaining teams consist of local pool players Dave Miles and Shawn Terrell, playing for the American Diabetes Association, and Drew Rieck and Keith Pulley playing for the Home Front Cares. With four types of donations offered on NAPA of the Rockies' website, these "NAPA of the Rockies Iron Men" hand selected their organization because they wanted to raise money for a good cause, says Rachelle Biber, NAPA lead operator of two counties in the region. 

Shooting to break the world record tonight before 9, the remaining teams hope to top out at 100 hours going into tomorrow night. And, as it turns out, this is not the first world record to be set in our home town. 
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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Contest looking for best nature photos

Posted By on Thu, Oct 24, 2013 at 3:57 PM

RMFI
  • RMFi

I would like to think I'm a pretty good photographer. But reality disagrees. My smart phone is filled with ghastly pictures of my otherwise-beautiful friends, color-drained landscapes, and, naturally, a million grainy shots of my cat.

Pretty sure none of those are going to win a contest.

Those of you with actual talent, however, could win a contest. Get your photos in by tomorrow, and you could be a competitor in the Rocky Mountain Field Institute's photo contest. All the details are below.

Selfies and cat pictures are apparently not appreciated.


PHOTO SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 25th.

Rocky Mountain Field Institute launches its first juried photo contest. The theme for the competition, “NATURE!” challenges photographers of all skill levels to think about the dynamic between humans and the environment. Ranging from passion to rage to thrill to despair, our relationship with the environment is complicated by natural disasters such as wildfire and flooding. Categories include:

Reaction: images of the force of nature, including fires, floods, or other damage.

Rebirth: images that highlight the efforts to overcome devastating natural events.

Rejoice: images that showcase the beauty of our natural areas and the wonderful outdoors we enjoy.

Recreate: images that capture humans enjoying nature.

Youth: images encompassing the theme of the contest, taken by those 17 and younger

RMFI is looking for powerful images that capture the multi-faceted relationship between people and the natural environment. 2 images from each category will be selected as finalists. These images will be exhibited throughout November (including our annual Fall ShinDIG at the Garden of the Gods Visitor Center Nov. 7th), culminating in a final exhibit on Saturday, November 30, 2013 at the Business of Art Center (515 Manitou Avenue, Manitou Springs, CO). A grand prize winner will be chosen by public vote and announced at the final exhibit. The final exhibit is an Indy Give! event hosted in partnership with the BAC, UCCS Gallery of Contemporary Art, Medicine Wheel and Concrete Couch.

HOW TO ENTER: Entry fee is $10/jpeg. 3 jpegs for $25. Thereafter, $7.50 for any additional images. Please submit entries to contest@rmfi.org. Please pay entry fee online at rmfi.org/donate or mail/deliver payment to RMFI: 815 S. 25th St, Ste 101, Colorado Springs, CO 80904. Deadline for submission is October 25, 2013.

Top entries will be decided by a panel of professional photographers and artisans. Chosen entries will need to be printed, mounted and framed by photographer to be displayed throughout November (name and contact information may be included). Prizes include much laud and fanfare from RMFI, your name in lights and in our e-news, and the prestige of having won.

For more information or questions please contact 719-471-7736 or rmfi@rmfi.org.
http://www.rmfi.org/press/2013/nature-photo-contest

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Wednesday, October 23, 2013

CC versus DU: It's a raise-off

Posted By on Wed, Oct 23, 2013 at 3:13 PM

banner.gif

As the Colorado College Tigers gear up to take on the long-rivaled University of Denver Pioneers, another competition is brewing.

Drawing upon alumni sources, the two are facing off in the new annual giving challenge to see who will be the first to rally up 1,500 donors by November 7. As it stands, the scoreboard shows CC in the lead, with 1,360 donors and DU bringing in only 761.

With only a couple weeks left before the two take the competition to the ice November 8, CC alumni may be coming out on top. And it isn't no surprise with CC's witty video performance overshadowing DU's cheesier rendition of a promotional ad.





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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Color your cover yet?

Posted By on Tue, Sep 25, 2012 at 4:26 PM

There's a Waldo Canyon Fire-themed cover, a One Direction-themed cover, another blanketed in sequins, even one modified into a diorama, complete with hand-sewn clothes. One individual played up the "gothic" in our image of choice: "American Gothic."

These are some of the 30 entries we've received so far for our Fall Arts Preview coloring contest, in which we asked readers to show us their take on the oh-so-iconic "Gothic" by Grant Wood. The painting is one of the most parodied pieces of artwork around, up there with David and the Mona Lisa. But really, the work has invited personal experience and modification since its debut in 1930. As it happened, Wood caught a lot of hell about the painting from Iowans (who though he made them look like sour "puritanical Bible-thumpers") and it's also been written that Wood saw the painting as a satire of American life, not the effigy of all things red, white and blue as it's often known for today. Really, for all its fame, and all its straightforward-ness, "Gothic" is still quite successful in bringing out something different in everyone.

Colorado Springs Independent coloring contest
  • Colorado Springs Independent
  • Can you beat this?

Which is why you should enter the contest if you still haven't. The deadline for submissions is Sunday, Sept. 30 by 5 p.m. (Click here for rules, drop-off information and more.)

The contest is open to all ages; to date, the youngest entry hails from a 3-year-old named Haven, the oldest from a 90-year-old named Arveen. Should either of these two win their age categories, Haven will be rewarded with kid-themed goodies, including Batman Live tickets, while Arveen will be able to drink and carouse with the beautiful people at our Best Of party in December. All the winners' works will be published in the first Best Of issue Oct. 17 and will be posted online.

Take a look at this video for examples of entries, as well as a contest pitch from the ever-camera-ready Jack Ward:

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Wednesday will become Independent's Day!

Posted By on Tue, Mar 27, 2012 at 4:50 PM

I_Heart_Wednesdays.jpg

The Independent is breaking up with Thursday and moving to Wednesday. Now you will have 24 more hours to plan your playtime and see our latest news and columns, starting Wednesday, April 11.

Breaking up is hard to do and we don't want to do it alone. So, share your best Break Up story in the "Independent Break Up" Sweepstakes! With a $100 Restaurant Gift Certificate up for grabs, we invite you to submit your Break Up story to this blog announcement by 5:55 p.m., Monday, April. 9. Or you can mail your story to our office, or just drop it by the building at 235 S. Nevada Ave. Limit of 100 words or fewer, explaining why your Break Up story is the best. Or you can e-mail it to digital@csindy.com.

On Wednesday, April 11, we'll announce the winning story in our first Wednesday issue.

The winner will receive $100 to a local restaurant so you can take your new partner out on the town or have a great location for your next Break Up!

Individuals are welcome to submit their Break Up story, but only locals in the Pikes Peak region (to include El Paso and Teller counties) are eligible. The Independent retains the right to use any submitted story in Independent-related forums including, but not limited to, print, social media, csindy.com and m.csindy.com. The creator retains all remaining rights.

Again, deadline is 5:55 p.m., Monday, April. 9. Please send further questions to digital@csindy.com.

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Your kid's chance to be a famous hero

Posted By on Thu, Jan 19, 2012 at 11:31 AM

Screen_shot_2012-01-18_at_4.54.16_PM.png

Considering the fact that Colorado has seen drastic cuts to both higher ed and K-12 education, and considering that the state's K-12 system has long been one of the most poorly funded in the nation, a chance for kids to win a $30,000 college scholarship and a $50,000 technology grant for their school may generate some excitement.

Add that to the fact that your kid could get his or her 15 minutes of fame through this little contest, and well, it's almost irresistible. I speak of the Doodle 4 Google contest.

You know how on holidays, Google decorates the icon on its homepage? Well, basically, your kid's drawing could decorate that icon on a regular day if he/she wins this thing. Think of it as an essay contest with pictures. The theme is “If I could travel in time, I’d visit ...”

Unfortunately, it's not open to the young at heart — only kids in grades 5-12. Sadly, this means all my years of developing my talent, doodling through boring meetings, is a total waste. Sigh. But your little one still has a chance, so read on:

Doodle 4 Google: “If I could travel in time, I’d visit...”

Starting today, we’d like to invite K-12 students in the U.S. to participate in our fifth annual U.S. Doogle 4 Google contest. Draw your rendition of the Google logo and you may see it on the ultimate gallery: the Google homepage. The winning doodler will also take home a $30,000 college scholarship and a $50,000 technology grant for his or her school.

The theme for this year’s contest is “If I could travel in time, I’d visit...”. That could mean visiting a past, present or future setting—whether it’s traveling back in time to the signing of the Declaration of Independence, to the future to witness everyday space travel, or to just a few moments ago to relive a poignant experience.

Building on last year’s record-breaking participation (107,000 entries!), we’ve made a few enhancements to the 2012 contest. First, we’re opening Doodle 4 Google up to an even wider audience—with a winner from every state. There will be five finalists and one winner per state, so everyone will have a local doodle champion to cheer on. >From these 50 State Winners, we’ll find 5 National Finalists and the lucky National Winner.

We’re also partnering with Crayola this year and the winning doodler’s artwork will appear on a special edition of the 64-crayon box—a first!

Participating is easier than ever, since we’ve eliminated the registration step. All you need to do is submit your child’s or student’s artwork by March 20 with a signed and completed entry form.

Contest judging starts with Google employees and a panel of guest judges—including multi-platinum singer Katy Perry, Phineas and Ferb creator and executive producer Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, and recording artist Jordin Sparks, as well as other great illustrators and artists—who will help us pick the state finalists and winners. Then, on May 2, we’ll put the 50 state winners up for public vote. All 50 State Winners will be flown to New York City for the national awards ceremony on May 17, with the winning doodle appearing on May 18.

The doodles by the 50 State Winners will be displayed at The New York Public Library's historic Stephen A. Schwarzman Building on 42nd Street in an exhibition open to the public over the summer. We’ll also be partnering with museums across the country to display the artwork of the state finalists in areas near their homes.

For more details, check out google.com/doodle4google, where you’ll find full contest rules and entry forms. Happy doodling and good luck!

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Friday, January 6, 2012

WeBrand winners check in

Posted By on Fri, Jan 6, 2012 at 4:33 PM

At noon Friday, the local convention and visitors bureau closed its competition for city logo submissions from the local public.

A couple hours earlier, the Indy entered the last leg of its foray into the branding business by doling out prizes in its WeBrand competition.

On Friday morning, Robert Crum and Jeff Gonyea, creators of the “Live adventure” brand that earned the most votes in our readers’ poll, stopped by the office to pick up their winnings. They received $555 for their slogan and logo design, and $200 for the slogan alone. They also received additional prizes compliments of West Side Tattoo, including a trip to Las Vegas and a tattoo gift certificate.

Even more exciting: They got to do the classic check-acceptance photo with our executive editor, Ralph Routon.

Grip ’n grin: Crum, Gonyea and Routon.

Crum and Gonyea have also submitted their winning design to Experience Colorado Springs via its official RFP, and we wish them luck in that competition.

Crum and Gonyeas winning brand.
  • Crum and Gonyea's winning brand.

As for WeBrand, all that’s left to do is to randomly choose the winner of the prize pack among all competition voters. To find out who takes the CC hockey tickets and gift certificates to the Stagecoach Inn and Tony’s Downtown Bar, pick up Thursday’s paper.

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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Community contest: WeBrand the Springs

Posted on Thu, Nov 17, 2011 at 1:56 PM

OK, here's the deal:

As has been well-documented in the 48 hours since the big unveil, "Live it up!" — our Castle Rock-sourced, $111,000 branding brainchild — is a big letdown.

So let's give the city other options. Your options.

WeBrandLogo1.jpg

Call it the "WeBrand the Springs" contest. With $1,100 up for grabs, we invite you to submit your best Colorado Springs logo-and-slogan pairing, and/or your best Colorado Springs promotional video (limited to 90 seconds), to WEBRAND@csindy.com by 5:55 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 15. Or you can mail your work to our office, or just drop it by the building at 235 S. Nevada Ave. We also ask for an artist bio (25 words or fewer) and an artist statement (of 100 words or fewer), explaining why your work projects the most fitting image of the Springs.

We will select anywhere from five to 10 finalists in both categories. On Thursday, Dec. 22, in print and at csindy.com, we'll present the logo-and-slogan finalists. We'll also present the video finalists at csindy.com.

From there, selecting a winner will be up to you. You'll get to vote for your fave at csindy.com, in a poll active from Dec. 22 through Tuesday, Dec. 27.

The highest vote-getter in the logo-and-slogan category, and the highest vote-getter in the video category, will be declared winners in our Dec. 29 issue. And we'll invite the winners to come along when we present their work to Experience Colorado Springs, the convention and visitors bureau, later that day.

Each winner will receive $550. That totals $1,100 — 1 percent of what it cost us to get "Live it up!"

Bust it out, people ... let's show what happens when the inspiration comes from within!

Individuals or groups are welcome to submit as many ideas, as often, as desired. But only locals in the Pikes Peak region (to include El Paso and Teller counties) are eligible. All submissions become the property of the Independent. The Independent retains the right to use any submitted logo in Independent-related forums including, but not limited to, print, csindy.com and m.csindy.com. The creator retains all remaining rights.

Again, deadline is 5:55 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 15. Please send further questions to WEBRAND@csindy.com.

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Friday, August 5, 2011

Win two tickets to the Gonzalo Bergara Quartet, with Mango fan Django

Posted By on Fri, Aug 5, 2011 at 12:11 PM

GBQ
  • GBQ

I like gypsy jazz, you like gypsy jazz, we all like gypsy jazz — it's just a question of tickets. Well guess who's got two tickets to next week's concert at First Congregational Church and is giving them away? This guy!

So if you're free at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 11, comment by 5 tonight with your real name and the name of the world-famous musician who jazz pioneer whom Jean "Django" Reinhardt supposedly called "my brother." We'll randomly draw a winner from among the correct answers, and leave their name on this blog.

Good luck, swing kids.

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Friday, June 17, 2011

The "What If Festival" returns — and you can be a part of it

Posted By on Fri, Jun 17, 2011 at 7:31 AM

The “if” clouding the probability of the wildly successful “What If Festival” returning for another round has been removed and it's been announced that the festival will return on Saturday, Sept. 10.

The “What If Festival,” which drew 15,000 people in its inaugural year, will again feature Colorado Springs’ “tech-enthusiasts, art-makers, garage inventors, do-it-yourselfers, performers, musicians, scientists, mathematicians, culinary magicians, robot builders, urban farmers, student creators, innovators, [and] engineers” in a smorgasbord of imagination that Ingmar Bergman could not deny.

1284306349-whatif4.jpg

For “virgin” innovators, the challenge is to create an “experience” for viewers that will hook them into your whale of an idea. Propositions are due by July 15 and applications can be filled out here.

Proposals must have both creativity, which the website defines as “our inherent, but sometimes un-fostered ability to create something that is, in some way, new rather than limited,” and innovation, “[the] creation of something that is both imaginative/creative and usable.”

1284306563-whatif6.jpg

For more information about the festival, check out its website here.

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

We want haiku: Win $20 to Pinkberry Frozen Yogurt

Posted By on Wed, Jun 15, 2011 at 10:42 AM

Pinkberry_Color_2009_11_18.jpeg

You may recall we told you Pinkberry Frozen Yogurt opens tomorrow at 7335 N. Academy Blvd.:

According to owner Wes Becker, who also runs two Denver Pinkberry shops with business partner Scott Adams, nearly 1,000 people showed up for his May 2010 grand opening on Colorado Boulevard. The product's popularity continues to expand internationally, now under the fold of Maveron, whose co-founder is Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. ...

He adds that Pinkberry distinguishes itself with yogurt made fresh in the store daily, and with fresh-cut fruits. See the nutrition page on the corporate website for a full ingredient list by flavor: Sugar content is high, but calories are relatively low.

Now you have the chance to win a $20 gift card and sample an early adopter of the insane yogurt craze. Leave your best yogurt-related haiku — signed with your real name — as a comment on this blog, before 4:30 p.m. today, and the best contribution, as voted by our editorial staff, will win.

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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

UPDATED: Win tickets to see 'The Advice Goddess' Amy Alkon

Posted By on Wed, May 11, 2011 at 5:08 PM

UPDATE 2: See a full recap of Amy's chat with readers below.






 Chat With Amy Alkon(05/11/2011) 
10:50
CSIndy: 
Welcome everyone!
Wednesday May 11, 2011 10:50 CSIndy
10:51
[Be Right Back Countdown]5 minutes 
Wednesday May 11, 2011 10:51 
10:00
CSIndy: 

Hi, everybody! Amy Alkon here, ready to take your questions.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:00 CSIndy
10:00
CSIndy: 
Ask me for advice...or ask me just anything.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:00 CSIndy
10:02
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Amy,
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:02 DaveG
10:02
CSIndy: 
Hi, Dave!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:02 CSIndy
10:02
CSIndy: 
What's amusing or troubling you today?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:02 CSIndy
10:02
[Comment From ChrisChris: ] 
Best way to get rid of an annoying ex?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:02 Chris
10:03
CSIndy: 
What's the annoying ex doing? As in, has this person barricaded him or herself in your den?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:03 CSIndy
10:03
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Amy, you're a well-known atheist. Do you think humankind will ultimately put religion where it belongs, in the rear-view mirror?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:03 DaveG
10:04
CSIndy: 
DaveG, I think people like to feel they have the answers. People are very uncomfortable not knowing. Religion tells them there are answers.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:04 CSIndy
10:04
CSIndy: 
Also, one thing atheists could learn from religion is that people like to have a community to belong to.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:04 CSIndy
10:05
CSIndy: 
Religion offers that.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:05 CSIndy
10:05
[Comment From ChrisChris: ] 
Texting, calling, emailing. It's been 5 months.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:05 Chris
10:05
CSIndy: 
Wow. Have you told him or her to stop? Explicitly? And is it a him or a her (want to know so I don't have to be annoying and write "him or her")
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:05 CSIndy
10:05
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Chris - can you get a restraining order?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:05 DaveG
10:06
CSIndy: 
Restraining orders can give people a false sense of security. It's just a piece of paper. It doesn't stop gunfire. Not that everyone is violent. I get a bit sick of how paranoid we're all becoming.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:06 CSIndy
10:06
[Comment From ChrisChris: ] 
Chick. And yes I have!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:06 Chris
10:06
CSIndy: 
Have told her, I assume you mean, not have gotten a restraining order.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:06 CSIndy
10:07
CSIndy: 
It also helps to be very, very definitive about how you are not going to get back together, not now, not ever. I'm guessing that would be her aim in keeping up contact? Is that right?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:07 CSIndy
10:07
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
BTW, check out ABadCaseoftheDates.com. Won't solve your problem, but you'll have some laffs.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:07 DaveG
10:08
CSIndy: 
You should also block her calls, emails and text, and let her know that you're doing that, and that you definitively will not get back together with her and will file for a restraining order if the calls do not stop. If somebody contacts you after you have explictly asked them to not contact you, it is harassment. Document all the contacts.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:08 CSIndy
10:09
CSIndy: 
A lot of times, people keep in contact because they think there's some hope that you can be persuaded to get back together. Unfortunately, they also keep in contact like this...
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:09 CSIndy
10:09
CSIndy: 
because it becomes a habit, part of the way they live their life. It's kind of a hobby of sorts (becomes one).
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:09 CSIndy
10:09
CSIndy: 
How old are you, how old is she? And what's the nature of these contacts (what does she say, write?)
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:09 CSIndy
10:10
[Comment From LoriLori: ] 
Hi Amy, are people really capable of changing for the long term?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:10 Lori
10:10
CSIndy: 
Change is very hard. Often impossible. It depends how and what you are trying to change. Can you be specific with an example?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:10 CSIndy
10:11
CSIndy: 
Some people have personality disorders that are brain chemistry based. We're learning more and more about the brain and where things show up and why.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:11 CSIndy
10:11
CSIndy: 
There's a wonderful book on neuroplasticity, how you can rewire your brain, by Norman Doidge, "The Brain That Changes Itself." But, it's terribly hard work.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:11 CSIndy
10:12
CSIndy: 
Also, many of people's problems are based in their being irrational. Albert Ellis, the co-founder of cognitive behavioral therapy...
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:12 CSIndy
10:13
CSIndy: 
would say, "Change the way you think and you'll change the way you feel," and that you're disturbed (and acting out) because you're thinking irrationally.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:13 CSIndy
10:13
[Comment From BobBob: ] 
Amy, what's the strangest scenario you've been asked to give advice on?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:13 Bob
10:14
CSIndy: 
Great book by Ellis, "Guide To Rational Living." Psychologists and psychiatrists (especially in previous decades) liked to pretend that correcting people's psychological problems took years and thousands of dollars. But, Ellis would, in $5 audience sessions he used to do, tell people how they were thinking irrationally, tell them what the rational approach would be, and give them exercises to help them behave more rationally. His $12 book helps people do the same things.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:14 CSIndy
10:16
CSIndy: 
Bob...hmmm...hard to say. It's when people are behaving in bizarrely wrong ways and see nothing wrong with it.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:16 CSIndy
10:16
CSIndy: 
Sort of "Well, all I did was boil her dog and feed it to her goldfish" type justifications.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:16 CSIndy
10:16
[Comment From ChrisChris: ] 
Yes, most def!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:16 Chris
10:16
[Comment From LoriLori: ] 
I've been in a relationship for 10 yrs and we have said some really awful things during heated arguments (words are hard to take back) but we have decided to change the way we fight and not get nasty...do you believe in the Secret?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:16 Lori
10:17
CSIndy: 
No. I forget what its about, but I looked at the specifics and found it to be, sorry, won't mince words, woowoo crapthink.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:17 CSIndy
10:17
CSIndy: 
John Gottman's work is great for changing the way you fight.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:17 CSIndy
10:17
CSIndy: 
He talks about contempt (when you speak contemptuously) being the killer of a relationship and the predictor of a relationship's end.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:17 CSIndy
10:17
CSIndy: 
I write about this in a column that either just ran or will run in the CSIndy.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:17 CSIndy
10:18
CSIndy: 
You need to have deep friendship with a partner...
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:18 CSIndy
10:19
CSIndy: 
You need to be with the right person, and that, I think, means having the hots for them, not just as a hunkahunka you know, but as a human being.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:19 CSIndy
10:19
CSIndy: 
You need to respect and admire them as a person.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:19 CSIndy
10:19
CSIndy: 
Also, I'm a hothead, but I've never said a mean word to my boyfriend.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:19 CSIndy
10:19
CSIndy: 
In eight years.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:19 CSIndy
10:19
CSIndy: 
He doesn't deserve it, and you get the relationship you create.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:19 CSIndy
10:20
CSIndy: 
You have to make that your relationship policy. Think of it as the culture of your relationship.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:20 CSIndy
10:20
CSIndy: 
Culture is created out of repeated behavior over time.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:20 CSIndy
10:20
CSIndy: 
Gottman also talks about how you need five positive interactions to make up for every negative one.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:20 CSIndy
10:21
CSIndy: 
Also, if you act loving, love will follow. Go over and hug your partner, kiss them, touch their hair sweetly. Repeatedly.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:21 CSIndy
10:21
CSIndy: 
Focus on the positives about them. The petty stuff, the little arguments, they aren't worth winning.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:21 CSIndy
10:22
CSIndy: 
This doesn't mean you don't have disagreements with them, but you discuss them as OUR problems and look for mutually beneficial resolution or that this time, it's your turn to get your way.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:22 CSIndy
10:22
CSIndy: 
And some arguments just aren't resolvable.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:22 CSIndy
10:22
CSIndy: 
On those, the deep friendship really helps - that it's more worth it to be there than not.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:22 CSIndy
10:22
[Comment From LoriLori: ] 
Agreed!!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:22 Lori
10:22
[Comment From LoriLori: ] 
Yes I agree completely, its an everyday work-in-progress...thank you!! See you tonight!! :-)
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:22 Lori
10:22
CSIndy: 
Thanks - and people can ask me questions live tonight. And I will speak the answers and not type them!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:22 CSIndy
10:24
CSIndy: 
Lori, I hope you'll pick up Gottman's book, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. Fantastic book.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:24 CSIndy
10:24
[Comment From LoriLori: ] 
Welcome to Spring time in Rockies!!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:24 Lori
10:24
CSIndy: 
Thanks - it's amazingly gorgeous here. And people are really nice and the food is great. We went to The Famous last night.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:24 CSIndy
10:25
CSIndy: 
A couple other book recommendations: Martin Seligman just wrote a wonderful book (culmination of his years of experience and research) called Flourish.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:25 CSIndy
10:25
CSIndy: 
Psychology and psychiatry are too often only about healing screwed up people and not making high-functioning people function better. Seligman ("Mr. Happiness") is great on that.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:25 CSIndy
10:25
[Comment From LoriLori: ] 
Very cool...The Famous is awesome!!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:25 Lori
10:26
CSIndy: 
Sure was!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:26 CSIndy
10:26
[Comment From BobBob: ] 
So apparently you're not supposed to feed your dog to your goldfish ... good to know ...
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:26 Bob
10:26
CSIndy: 
Yeah, I've got all the hot wisdom.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:26 CSIndy
10:26
CSIndy: 
Of course, my dog is goldfish-sized...
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:26 CSIndy
10:27
CSIndy: 
She's a pretend dog, not like the real dogs you have out here. 3 lbs, abusing my boyfriend right now.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:27 CSIndy
10:27
[Comment From BobBob: ] 
Ah, I see. That does it make it somewhat risky.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:27 Bob
10:27
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Amy - as a lifelong Unitarian, I can confirm that a church community is a great thing - and we have a TON of atheists in our congregation (including my daughter, who identifies as a "spiritual atheist")
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:27 Melissa
10:27
CSIndy: 
My lawyer is a Unitarian. It's always sounded wonderful. And Bahai'ism sounds cool. I interviewed Rainn Wilson, who's a Bahai, at a book festival last week.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:27 CSIndy
10:28
CSIndy: 
It's a religion bent on uniting people of all faiths, but not trying to convert them. Bahai don't troll for people to join them and change their religion, just to join them in creating peace on earth, feeding people, etc. Seems nice!
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:28 CSIndy
10:28
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Amy - this IS your lawyer ;-) I logged in to tell you to visit my alma mater - Colorado College - a beautiful liberal campus in the midst of conservative Csprings
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:28 Melissa
10:29
CSIndy: 
Hah! Hilarious.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:29 CSIndy
10:29
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Actually, according to the research my fellow teacher did, Bahais are BIG on proselytizing - but I didn't do the research so I can't confirm
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:29 Melissa
10:30
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
I'm teaching a comparative religion class in Sunday school this year, and we're currently studying Bahai -going to the Bahai temple this Sunday
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:30 Melissa
10:30
CSIndy: 
Rainn said they don't and what I read about them said they don't, but even if they do, I think their religion and yours sound very positive. PS Melissa is a great lawyer...always on moral high ground. I like that.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:30 CSIndy
10:31
CSIndy: 
Sorry, these sometimes don't publish as fast as I write them. It says, "transferring data," and then it finally lets it through.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:31 CSIndy
10:31
CSIndy: 
I type wildly fast because I earned 10 cents an envelope/addressed cover letter typing for my dad when I was a teenager.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:31 CSIndy
10:32
CSIndy: 
By the way, if you haven't yet heard me raving about my heated toilet seat in my hotel room... http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2011/05/12/thatll_be_me_th.html
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:32 CSIndy
10:32
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
I'm interested in learning more about Bahai - I'll give you a report after we visit their temple - they all have 8 (9?) doors to symbolize the different paths to spiritual wisdom
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:32 Melissa
10:33
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Will there be a transcript of this?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:33 DaveG
10:34
CSIndy: 
I don't know...I'll have to ask Barrett. It would be great if there is. And I love doing this. I want to start doing these live chats maybe once a month.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:34 CSIndy
10:35
CSIndy: 
I'm glad you would actually want a transcript. One of the things I think makes me not a hack is that I'm always worried about making sure I say/give people something of value.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:35 CSIndy
10:35
CSIndy: 
It's one of the reasons I work really hard to put science into my column and to translate it out of professorese.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:35 CSIndy
10:35
CSIndy: 
I just got back from an evolutionary psychology conference at SUNY Binghamton. A city which has nothing on this one, believe me. But, the conference was amazing.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:35 CSIndy
10:36
CSIndy: 
I just finished a column that will run in two weeks in the CSIndy on "nice guys," who aren't really nice at all but overly nice.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:36 CSIndy
10:36
CSIndy: 
This isn't to say all nice guys are problematic...just the ones who use the term "nice" as cover for being women and trying to bribe women into liking them instead of being more straightforward.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:36 CSIndy
10:36
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Shoutout to Melissa from a fellow UU - Q: What's the UU Hell? A: A place where no-one argues with you.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:36 DaveG
10:36
[Comment From ErikErik: ] 
Amy, what's the best way to end a relationship that you're happy in, but is stagnant? Or, is it better to seek to revive? Where's the line?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:36 Erik
10:37
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
LOL DaveG - too true
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:37 Melissa
10:37
CSIndy: 
Tell me more about the relationship.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:37 CSIndy
10:37
CSIndy: 
Why is it "stagnant"? What's gotten boring? And do you live together or apart, and do you have kids?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:37 CSIndy
10:38
CSIndy: 
I know it's not for everybody, but I think living together can be a big problem. You never get to miss the person.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:38 CSIndy
10:38
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
My college freshman daughter is taking a class on Sociology & Religion - her prof says Unitarians are the only religion that does not define themselves by excluding others
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:38 Melissa
10:38
CSIndy: 
Been with my boyfriend eight years and I always miss him. We live apart and he's in Detroit every few weeks. Great to feel I am never seeing enough of him.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:38 CSIndy
10:38
[Comment From GuestGuest: ] 
Live apart, no kids; but happy enough. I need more time away than she does, and that hurts her feelings.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:38 Guest
10:39
CSIndy: 
She needs to understand (and I've written about this before, though I can't remember the exact column) that it's not about her but about your need to be separate. If you email me (adviceamy@aol.com) I'll try to find it for you. A woman wrote about needing more alone time.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:39 CSIndy
10:39
CSIndy: 
It's solitude you need. Not that she's a problem for you.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:39 CSIndy
10:40
CSIndy: 
Also, look up my column on introverts in the CSIndy.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:40 CSIndy
10:41
CSIndy: 
Introverts can't take as much human stimulation as the rest of us. They need to go away and calm themselves. It's actually a different type of brain, the brain of an introvert. Longer pathways for information, and more easily overwhelmed. If you can help her understand this as biology and not that she's somehow disagreeable to you, that should help.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:41 CSIndy
10:41
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
I grew up UU, love it, but I'm cautious about applying superlatives to it, so we don't get smug in our awesomeness.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:41 DaveG
10:41
CSIndy: 
The smugness was subtext, but I'm so high on this town, it seems deserved.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:41 CSIndy
10:41
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
DaveG - that's called hiding your light under a bushel ;-)
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:41 Melissa
10:42
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Amy, see Garden of the Gods if you can.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:42 DaveG
10:43
CSIndy: 
We passed it. Of course, being from LA, I thought it was the site of a movie shoot.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:43 CSIndy
10:43
CSIndy: 
When Jack told me the name.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:43 CSIndy
10:43
[Comment From BryceBryce: ] 
Do you ever run out of letters to answer? How many do you receive in an average week?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:43 Bryce
10:44
CSIndy: 
People always want free advice.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:44 CSIndy
10:44
CSIndy: 
I get more letters when people are mad at me for something.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:44 CSIndy
10:44
CSIndy: 
It's hard to say how many I get. It varies. Maybe I get 10 a day. I try to answer them all, although some fall through the cracks.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:44 CSIndy
10:44
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Garden of the Gods is even better if you can find some hallucinogenics (oh, wait - that was the 70s ;-)
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:44 Melissa
10:45
CSIndy: 
I like people who gently remind me that I haven't answered their email, as opposed to those who seem to think I've been waiting all my life for their email to come, and why haven't I gotten to it 30 seconds after its arrival?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:45 CSIndy
10:45
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
have you ever had a stalker-advice seeker? Someone who wanted to argue and comment and not let you go on to anything else?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:45 Melissa
10:46
CSIndy: 
I have one on my site. He just would make my comments section uninteresting. He's going on and on about homeopathy now. Yawn.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:46 CSIndy
10:47
CSIndy: 
What makes it uninteresting is when people aren't really discussing anything but just trying to hammer their point over and over. I'm also annoyed by people who write me angry, critical letters which make it clear that they didn't read what I wrote; they just decided what I must have said and wrote in response to that.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:47 CSIndy
10:47
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Ever had to block someone who got disruptive with comments or ranting emails?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:47 Melissa
10:47
CSIndy: 
I like to run a free speech site. I like to say, "Even assholes are welcome." If a mob of people are coming over to disrupt my comments section, with that as their explicit purpose, I'll block them.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:47 CSIndy
10:48
CSIndy: 
But, I've probably blocked only five people otherwise.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:48 CSIndy
10:48
[Comment From JamieJamie: ] 
How do you handle friends when you start a new relationship and they are used to having you to themselves?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:48 Jamie
10:49
CSIndy: 
We're all basically small, wounded children. It's important to let them know that you care about them and to be sort of explicit about how important it is to you to make time for them.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 CSIndy
10:49
CSIndy: 
You want to counter their objection and hurt before it comes up.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 CSIndy
10:49
CSIndy: 
You will have to work to include them.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 CSIndy
10:49
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Yeah, the hecklers are what make Speakers Corner fun, right?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 Melissa
10:49
CSIndy: 
Yep.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 CSIndy
10:49
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Do you think that the proliferation of anti-depressants, autism awareness (and, although I have no data, a presumable increase in the use of counseling) means that:
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 DaveG
10:49
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
Psychiatry is now better than ever at uncovering conditions that have already always existed, or that people really are more maladjusted than ever before?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:49 DaveG
10:50
CSIndy: 
I don't think psychiatry is any better at uncovering the conditions, but they like to themselves that.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:50 CSIndy
10:51
CSIndy: 
It's so easy to give you a pill. That said, I'm all for better living through chemistry...if that is actually the case. Drugs do have risks and side-effects, as does ANY medical care. Iatrogenisis is the term for when medical care actually screws you up further.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:51 CSIndy
10:51
[Comment From JamieJamie: ] 
What if it feels like some of them work to exclude my partner of two years, do I have to draw a line between my friends and my mate?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:51 Jamie
10:52
CSIndy: 
You need to lay out that you care about them but that this is how your life works best for you and ask them how you can work things so they feel included in your life. A friend isn't actually acting as a friend if they're treating you as an object they must have...
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:52 CSIndy
10:52
CSIndy: 
Contrary to what works for you.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:52 CSIndy
10:52
[Comment From GingerGinger: ] 
do you find midwest men different from la men?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:52 Ginger
10:53
CSIndy: 
Yep. My boyfriend is a midwest man, but I met him in LA. I like to say "I got him at the Apple computer store at The Grove," which I did.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:53 CSIndy
10:53
[Comment From JamieJamie: ] 
Thanks for the advice.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:53 Jamie
10:53
[Comment From GingerGinger: ] 
on sale?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:53 Ginger
10:54
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
Jamie - why does your partner have to be included in everything? Maybe your girlfriends just want some girl time, while you insist that everyone has to embrace him all the time -
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:54 Melissa
10:54
CSIndy: 
LA is a place made up of a lot of people from a lot of places, but it's also a place where Hollywood is a big part of the deal. And there's a little Hollyweasel in far too many of the men I encountered there.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:54 CSIndy
10:55
CSIndy: 
I didn't get that from what Jamie was saying, Melissa. It sounds like her friend is jealous of the time Jamie is spending with her partner.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:55 CSIndy
10:55
CSIndy: 
I spent eight years alone, largely, before I met my boyfriend. Going on one date and one date only. I came up with standards, "man minimums," and if a guy didn't meet them, it was goodbye.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:55 CSIndy
10:55
[Comment From MelissaMelissa: ] 
She said "some of them work to exclude my partner" - well, why do they have to be a package deal?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:55 Melissa
10:55
CSIndy: 
I said a lot of goodbyes.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:55 CSIndy
10:56
CSIndy: 
Because my boyfriend is an introvert and likes to quote Vingh Rhames ("I don't want to talk to anyone I don't already know") I leave him home a lot.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:56 CSIndy
10:57
CSIndy: 
It is important to also maintain friendships. That keeps you vital as a person and actually feeds your relationship, too. It's dull to only have the exact same experiences as your boyfriend. Then, what do you do at night, tell them a story about the thing you both just saw?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:57 CSIndy
10:57
[Comment From JamieJamie: ] 
Because I love him and I want to include him in things I do. At least that's how I feel when love someone not every minute of the day but in my downtime I prefer to include him.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:57 Jamie
10:58
CSIndy: 
Are you in the initial stages of your relationship, Jamie? Can't remember
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:58 CSIndy
10:58
[Comment From GingerGinger: ] 
i've been in the middle of both of jamie's issues. friends who didn't want to hang out with my man and men who didn't want me to hang out with my girls. i've since gotten rid of everyone who wanted me all to themselves
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:58 Ginger
10:58
[Comment From DaveGDaveG: ] 
In the South, people are known for being overtly friendly to strangers. Also true in upstate NY, where I'm from. In CT where I live, no so true. What's LA like in that regard?
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:58 DaveG
10:58
CSIndy: 
Ginger sounds wise.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:58 CSIndy
10:59
CSIndy: 
I'm overly friendly to strangers, my boyfriend would tell you. There are chatters like me, and people who keep to themselves, like Helen Hunt, who writes in the cafe I do sometimes. She seems so disturbed to be out in public, I always wonder why she just doesn't stay home.
Thursday May 12, 2011 10:59 CSIndy
11:00
CSIndy: 
Thanks everyone...this has been wonderful chatting with you all...I'm being summoned to go. Please email me if you need more advice - adviceamy@aol.com - and read me weekly at CSIndy.com
Thursday May 12, 2011 11:00 CSIndy
11:05
 

 
 
 

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UPDATE: Amy Alkon will be appearing on our Facebook page at 10 a.m. tomorrow to answer your question for one hour. Look for her initial post and feel free to receive advice directly from the goddess who knows.

——— ORIGINAL POST: Wed., May 11, 1:37 p.m. ———

Tomorrow, May 12, columnist Amy Alkon will be appearing at Stargazers Theatre and Event Center as a benefit for Stop Family Violence, and to discuss and sign her book I See Rude People.

Her column runs weekly in the Independent, and features advice like this:

I must have missed that fairy tale — the one where the couple get married and go off to live happily ever after in the house with the white picket fence and the 2.5 boyfriends. Your husband took early retirement from sex, deeming it "too much work." Well, sure, it takes some elbow grease, but it isn't exactly picking lettuce in the hot sun for $3 an hour. Although he refuses to discuss this further, you keep him on staff — as your vice president of The Illusion of Safety and Security. ...

Sex researcher Rosemary Basson found that arousal is "triggerable"; just start making out, and you'll get turned on and get into it. Ultimately, you have to fill a marriage with loving and sexual acts, and love and sex should continue — assuming you're with somebody whose idea of sex in marriage isn't sending his spouse out to bars to score it off somebody else.

Comment on this blog post — with your real name — between now and 5:30 p.m. with the worst advice you ever received, and be entered into a random drawing to win two tickets to see Alkon.

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