Columns, Colorado Springs Independent

Going hungry in Houston

Jim Hightower — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

An ordinance dating way back to 1942 says that "molesting garbage containers" is illegal. by Jim Hightower Whenever one of our cities gets a star turn as host of some super-sparkly event such as a national political gathering or a Super Bowl, its first move is to tidy up — by having the police sweep homeless people into jail, out of town, or under some rug. But the tidy-uppers of Houston, Texas, aren't waiting for a world-class event to rationalize going after homeless down-and-outers.…

Watch out for those web cams

Roland Sweet — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

All the weird news that's fit to print. by Roland Sweet Curses, foiled again Authorities charged Carolyn James, 55, with assaulting her 96-year-old mother in Dickson City, Pa., after a neighbor recorded James slapping the invalid woman on the back and neck, screaming obscenities and threatening to break her arm.…

Mari-wanna?

Kendall Kullman — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Even though the state will allow commercial sales of recreational cannabis, local governments can still ban it. by Kendall Kullman Even though the state will allow commercial sales of recreational cannabis, local governments can still ban it. And Colorado Springs City Council is expected to consider the issue soon.…

A not-so-open relationship

Amy Alkon — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

With friends like her, who needs bar fights? by Amy Alkon Smells like libertine spirit I got involved with my co-host on my Web show — a woman in an "open relationship" with her live-in boyfriend of two years.…

The park's toxic neighbor and renewable rural energy

Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Letters Editor, 235 S. Nevada Ave., CS, CO 80903 • e-mail: letters@csindy.com If your comments are mailed or e-mailed to us, we'll consider them for publication — unless you request otherwise.…

Manitou could try a 'density cap' for recreational pot

Bryce Crawford — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

CannaBiz by Bryce Crawford Beware the banhammer Last Wednesday, during his monthly press conference, Colorado Springs Mayor Steve Bach said he'd be going to City Council on May 28 to tell them his opinion on what the city should do regarding recreational-marijuana stores.…

Ballpark: There's a better way

Ralph Routon — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Exactly what does Colorado Springs need most? by Ralph Routon Last week, after some kind of top-level strategizing, the Colorado Springs Regional Business Alliance — with the encouragement of Mayor Steve Bach — unveiled an online poll to take the local pulse concerning a new downtown baseball stadium for the Sky Sox. Really.…

Putting the 'tea' in trouble

Rich Tosches — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

At issue are conservative groups seeking tax-exempt status. by Rich Tosches If less than the entire value of the trust (or other property) that the donor has included in Parts 1 and 3 of Schedule A is entered as a deduction on line 4, the donor shall be considered to have made an election only as to a fraction of the trust (or other property). The numerator of this fraction is equal to the amount of the trust (or other property) deducted on Schedule A, Part 4, line 6.…

Fighting gravity at the Colorado Springs Airport

John Hazlehurst — Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Make the first seven days of long-term parking free. by John Hazlehurst Slow news day? Not to worry — our irascible mayor will make something happen.…

Slice of Life

Wed, 22 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

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City Council looks to lawyer up

John Hazlehurst — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

At a retreat last week, all of city council spoke in favor of having an independent source of legal advice, directly hired by Council, unconstrained by loyalty to Bach or Melcher. by John Hazlehurst Living in Miami in the late 1970s, I got into an interesting conversation with my neighbor Lonnie. "Have you ever been arrested?" he began.…

Cat foils the burglar, and more

Roland Sweet — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

All the weird news that's fit to print. by Roland Sweet Curses, foiled again Marius Ionescue, 31, was burglarizing a home in Benesti, Romania, when he heard a noise.…

Homelessness solution: Welcome to Bachville

Rich Tosches — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

To much fanfare, Bach announced a homelessness solution after months of research. As I heard it, the plan was carefully thought-out and even came with a name: "Just Buy A House." by Rich Tosches In today's episode of Steve Bach: Champion Of The Homeless, we find our Mother Teresa-like mayor rounding up support for a campus-like place so all of our village's downtrodden can get a safe night's sleep, medical care and career training, and, more importantly, so the unshaven bums will stay the hell out of the downtown area. Downtown is where the mayor and his kind-hearted, philanthropic Republican developer pals conduct business.…

Praise for pastry guy and the critic, and a pet-poop plea

Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Letters Editor, 235 S. Nevada Ave., CS, CO 80903 • e-mail: letters@csindy.com If your comments are mailed or e-mailed to us, we'll consider them for publication — unless you request otherwise.…

Comedy, hemp history and (weed) porn

Bryce Crawford — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

CannaBiz by Bryce Crawford Marijuana mission Here comes the most creative pun ever: The Weediculous Comedy Tour has a higher goal.…

A smoky sizzle

Bob Campbell — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

To many, nothing says summer like a gathering of friends, talk, laughter, music, and the to-die-for aroma of meat searing on the backyard barbecue grill. by Bob Campbell To many, nothing says summer like a gathering of friends, talk, laughter, music, and the to-die-for aroma of meat searing on the backyard barbecue grill. Randy Cable of Woodland Park works in information technology…

Slice of Life

Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

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New election era dawns

Ralph Routon — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Sitting one out will no longer make you 'inactive.' by Ralph Routon County Clerk Wayne Williams, a staunch Republican, can't hide his frustration. State Rep. Pete Lee, an equally determined Democrat, can't hide his elation.…

In sickness and in stealth

Amy Alkon — Wed, 15 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

It's so annoying when a woman lets a little thing like a lifelong commitment get in the way of providing you with an hour and a half of better-quality sex. by Amy Alkon In sickness and in stealth This woman and I were involved 13 years ago, before I met my wife, but she was married then.…

Sanders vs. Anschutz ... really

John Hazlehurst — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

If he wins this case, Sanders' contingency fee might be in nine figures. by John Hazlehurst I've met quite a few millionaires and even a billionaire or two. Foolishly, I never asked any of them for a loan on easy terms, a cushy job or an insider stock tip.…

Time to forgive the practical joker?

Amy Alkon — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Advice Goddess by Amy Alkon Fry, fry again I walked into my apartment and, to my horror, thought my boyfriend had been electrocuted.…

Stones and sticks

Kirsten Akens — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Is the Garden of the Gods overlook on Mesa Road safe from development? by Kirsten Akens When my then-boyfriend, now husband, and I began dating, we started what would flow in and out of our lives as a weekend ritual. Back then, it involved a trip to Dunkin' Donuts on Centennial Boulevard to pick up a chocolate glazed for me, a lemon-filled for him, and two bottled orange juices.…

Stop killing garment workers

Jim Hightower — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

They've dictated a corporate order that compels shortcuts on safety and rewards unscrupulous factory owners. by Jim Hightower Sometimes, corporate greed flares with such intensity that it ignites public outrage. This happened in April when an eight-story, recklessly built clothing factory in Dhaka, Bangladesh crashed.…

Kudos for King, a Facebook fracas, and more gun voices

Wed, 08 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

Letters Editor, 235 S. Nevada Ave., CS, CO 80903 • e-mail: letters@csindy.com If your comments are mailed or e-mailed to us, we'll consider them for publication — unless you request otherwise.…

I had amnesia — honest

Rich Tosches — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:00:00 -0600

In the back of my head they found 1,589 jokes about village Mayor Steve Bach. by Rich Tosches I recently spent some 16 hours — I am not kidding about this — in the psychiatric ward of our village's Penrose Hospital. Among the tests on my cranium was an MRI, which showed four marbles, a handful of paper clips, a shoelace, lewd thoughts about Marie Osmond and a dozen odd facts I keep up there about Norway.…