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New York City Serenade (R)

Anchor Bay Home Entertainment

New York City Serenade is that overwrought, 30-something-guys-who-can't-grow-up type of indie flick that sucked in, say, 1995. To make one now is, well, just plain embarrassing. The movie stars teen-dream has-beens Freddie Prinze Jr. and Chris Klein as a pair of New York cads who have the typical sensitive-bro problems: getting caught cheating on a fiance, being a neglectful dad, having trouble growing any semblance of facial hair. The whole film seems to bank on the idea that the public has been dying to hear Prinze and Klein recite melodramatic, junior high drama-class dialogue in utterly cheesy, slapsticky New York accents for 103 minutes. They were wrong. Serenade is a dated, vapid movie that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Avoid! Louis Fowler

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The Girls Next Door: Season Four (NR)

20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Sure, some of you may see this as a fun and flirty look behind the scenes of America's favorite sexual Camelot, the Playboy Mansion. I, on the other hand, find this "reality" series just absolutely depressing and sad. The Girls Next Door is a peek inside the lives of three blondes with zero self-esteem and zero marketable job skills unless you count getting naked a job skill and how they are bleeding a horny octogenarian dry, both sexually and financially. In season four, which is exactly like seasons one through three, the girls throw parties, go on vacation and try not to look too disgusted when they have to kiss Hugh Hefner. It's a pathetic existence for the girls, but, even sadder, I'm afraid it's one that too many people wish they could emulate. Louis Fowler

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Chocolate (R)

Magnolia Home Entertainment

What are they doing over there in Thailand? They're consistently releasing the best martial arts and action films, seemingly out of nowhere! First, there's the explosive Tony Jaa in the modern classic Ong-Bak. Now, we get my new favorite action heroine, the petite spitfire JeeJa Yanin, whose quick moves, powerful kicks and crushing knees-to-the-head leave just about every other male action star in the dust. She is incredible, folks! In Chocolate, Yanin is an autistic teen who, when her mom is diagnosed with cancer and needs money, starts going around to the local underworld bosses collecting owed monies, mostly by using martial arts skills she copies from TV. Sure, the plot may be a bit rote, but this flick is supremely fun. I can't get enough Chocolate. Louis Fowler

  • New York City Serenade; The Girls Next Door: Season Four; Chocolate

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