Consumer Correspondent 

Kenneth H. Cleaver

P.O. Box 1034

Colorado Springs, CO 80901

July 16, 2004

World Umpires Association

P.O. Box 394

Neenah, WI 54957

Dear World Umpires Association:

For some rather boring reasons, I won't be able to attend any baseball games this year.

Since I wouldn't want to miss yelling at your members, I thought I'd try to cram a seasons' worth in one letter.

Yelling as follows:

Hey Ump! Tell your wife she needs to update her Web site!

Hey Ump! Laser corrective surgery's a lot easier than having your ass kicked!

Hey Ump! Hey Ump! Hey Ump! Hey Ump! Hey Ump! (Repeat six innings)

Ump: What????


3 hours, hissing.

2 hours, booing.

4 hours, catcalls (assorted).

Wow. That was cathartic!

Please disperse this among your membership with an emphasis on plate umpires.


Kenneth H. Cleaver

P.S. Please confirm receipt of this directive.

Read the Response.


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Kenneth H. Cleaver

Latest in Kenneth Cleaver

Popular Events

  • 2017 Entrepreneurship Exhibition @ Hotel Eleganté Conference & Event Center

    • Thu., Feb. 23, 7:30 a.m.-8 p.m.
    • Buy Tickets
  • The 2017 Prom Expo @ Hotel Eleganté Conference & Event Center

    • Sun., Feb. 26, 12-5 p.m. Free
    • Buy Tickets
  • How to Build a Keyhole Bed @ Hillside Community Center

    • Sun., Feb. 26, 1-3 p.m. $5
  • State of the Rockies Speaker Series: International Water Law and Indigenous Water Justice @ CC's Gaylord Hall

    • Mon., Feb. 27, 7 p.m. Free
  • CSYP Next Gen Kick Off @ Venue32

    • Thu., March 2, 6-8 p.m. $25-$30
    • Buy Tickets

Recent Comments

  • Re: Democrats in the Afterlife

    • I read an article by Nat stein she forgot to state the most important fact…

    • on February 22, 2017
  • Re: Democrats in the Afterlife

    • The Progressive tent is big enuf for democrats, come on over! www.coloradoprogressiveparty.org

    • on February 22, 2017
  • Re: The resistance is now

    • Look, the GOP and the DNC are the weakest ever! Time to POUNCE! www.coloradoprogressiveparty.org Feel…

    • on February 22, 2017
  • More »

All content © Copyright 2017, The Colorado Springs Independent   |   Website powered by Foundation