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Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 

A Review

Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo (R)
Touchstone Pictures

Okay, let's take a quick look at the evolution of humor in contemporary humans.

By my calculations, at about age three, you think fart jokes are funny. By six, they're pretty dumb. At age eight, bathroom humor is still kind of cool. By ten, it has lost its cachet.

At age eleven, making fun of fat people is a gas. By sixteen, that disappears, unless you're a Neanderthal.

At age twelve any number of physical disabilities are still weird enough to make uncomfortable jokes. By eighteen, you ought to have met enough people in your life to grant you a little more humility.

Given this approximate time line, why would any adult write, produce, act in, edit or distribute Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo and think they were promoting comedy?

Deuce Bigelow (Rob Schneider, who also co-wrote the film) is an itinerant fish tank cleaner who is left in charge of client Antoine Laconte's (Oded Fehr) apartment. Antoine is a very handsome gigolo with a nasty temper, and when Deuce accidentally messes up his apartment, Deuce decides he needs to turn a few tricks of his own to pay for the damage. He teams up with pimp T.J. Hicks (Eddie Griffin) and is sent on an assortment of assignations with women whose various deformities make it impossible for them to get a date.

There's a hugely fat woman, a Tourette's sufferer, a giant, a narcoleptic and a newly blind woman. There's also the love interest who has problems of her own.

What paltry fodder to make a parody! There's only one remotely funny scene in the movie when Deuce takes the Tourette's character to a baseball game so that she can blend in with the other catcalling fans. That scene is amusing because it makes fun of the rest of us who call ourselves normal, but, at the ballpark, lose all claim to mental health.

To add insult to injury, this paltry little fish tank cleaner doesn't even have sex with any of these women. They pay him for sex but dear little Deuce, so kind and understanding, learns that women just want to be accepted for what they are, then they can leave the sex behind. Ah, I get it. Women who are not attractive to men don't actually have sexual desire. Only men and attractive women have that. The rest of us, well, stay tuned and those weasely little white guys will let you know what we want.

Why anyone would want to make this into a movie is beyond me. There's some hope of making a parody of Hollywood films , but even that slight pretension falls flat in over-earnestness and bad timing.

"Lighten up," the proponents of this film have said. "It's only comedy."

Yes, well, comedy is funny, little boy, and Deuce Bigalow ain't.

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