Even bad Reubens taste good 

Long Story Short

There's no bad way to eat a Reuben. There's barely a bad way to make one. Whether you're using Russian or Thousand Island, marble rye or pumpernickel, pastrami or corned beef, Swiss and sauerkraut or ... Swiss and sauerkraut, you're going to end up with a juicy mess that hugs your mouth.

Of course, there are people crazier about the specifics than I am, like Albert Burneko, writing on the website Deadspin a few months ago: "Now, while your oven is preheating, haul out a good-sized bowl and make Russian dressing in it. ... Go crazy with the horseradish here. Your completed Russian dressing should make you acutely fearful for your life, just like a real Russian person would; if it does not do that, you have not added enough horseradish yet.

"If you want to gussy up your Russian dressing with pimentos or chopped chives or a dash of hot sauce or whatever, go for it — but be careful, because too much gussying will leave you with Thousand Island dressing instead of Russian, and Reubens are not made with Thousand Island dressing, and we are making Reubens here and not some whole other goddamn sandwich."

By now, you likely know my stance that anything that even rhymes with the sandwich's name — I'll have a Schmeuben, please — is better than any alternative. So, I'll leave you now to the mercy of your salivary glands, and the meal's promise of good luck in the new year. Take heart: Lunchtime is coming.

  • You're going to end up with a juicy mess that hugs your mouth.

Readers also liked…


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Latest in Long Story Short

Popular Events

  • Bannering: "The Death Penalty Is Bad Policy; Count The Ways!" @ Acacia Park

    • Fri., Dec. 9, 4-5 p.m.
  • Ugly Christmas Sweater Party and Food Drive with Grass It Up @ Front Range Barbeque

    • Wed., Dec. 14, 5 p.m. Free
  • 80's Ski Party & Lip Sync Battle @ The Ute and the Yeti

    • Sat., Dec. 31, 8 p.m.
  • Teens' Answers to "What is your Light in the Darkness?" @ Pikes Peak Suicide Prevention Partnership

    • Through Dec. 9
  • Genealogy Lab: Put Your Family on the Map @ Pikes Peak Library District, Rockrimmon Branch

    • Sat., Dec. 10, 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Free
    • Buy Tickets

Recent Comments

All content © Copyright 2016, The Colorado Springs Independent   |   Website powered by Foundation