March 14, 2002
There once was a dying Ramone Who got a Bartiromo bone For the CNN hottie With the outta sight body As he watched late at night all alone
But alas for this punk three-chord wonder This was his last punk rock thunder It's not his best ever, But. . . whatever. Now he's singing his songs six feet under.
Rating: 3 walkers
It's hard to believe she's alive And that she's still got a teen-ager's thighs! Now she's got platinum hair Girl you know it's Cher! Workin' that Euro-gay house sound 'til it's dry.
Rating: 2 walkers
No one rocks harder than Neil The geezer with real homie feel His voice is crappy But it makes me happy With its horrifying pig sex squeal
This album kinda sucks, actually But in the way only Neil can, factually: It's good when it's bad And it's glad when it's sad In a weird way that makes you react truly.
(Sorry, won't be out until May, ha ha)
This haggard old redneck named Merle Gots a voice a might purtier 'n pearl He's gone back to his roots In his old cowboy boots With Hank, Lefty, and the ol' Carter Girls
Rating: 5 walkers
There once was an old Rolling Stone Who found himself rolling alone With a Geritol sound That was quite profound For a record cut in nursing homes
Though he gets a bit New Age at times You can tell that his heart's in the rhymes Some geezer's refuse To give up the muse "Too Far Gone," but still turning his lines ... sort of.
With another ten years on his face This heroin tenor's a bass The bard of the Bower Gives us almost an hour Of a cross between Barry White and Tom Waits
Rating: 4 walkers
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