Some people get drunk while others get crunk. Chads and Amys get wasted but guys in Iron Maiden T-shirts don't; they get smashed.
Blitzed is good when you're in a sports bar, and plastered is fun, but that's easy to slur. There's also sloshed, tanked and faded, but those usually end up in vomiting or a regrettable sexual encounter you wouldn't have had if only you didn't take those tequila shots.
If you're intoxicated you're probably a cop, and no sir, I sure wasn't planning on driving. (And neither should you. Call a cab.)
As everyone knows, there are a lot of ways to party and a lot of places to do it. But nowadays, many of us can't afford a lot of trial and error
the economy sucks, and so does paying $4.50 for a Bud. To identify the finest drinking deals in Colorado Springs, we called more than 100 local bars and asked about what they're doing for you. What follows is in no way comprehensive, but it does offer what we think are some of the best ideas for getting shitty on the cheap.
In the story that begins below, we run through the best offers on each day of the week. Elsewhere, we highlight the best of the rest: happy hour steals, shot deals and more. Bottoms up!
Rhino's Sports & Spirits
4307 Integrity Center Drive, 578-0608, rhinosbar.com
Wednesday is beer pong and $5 pitchers of Pabst Blue Ribbon. On Thursday, ladies get a dollar off of everything. But Monday's got the best deal: two-for-one domestic drafts, wells and wines until 11 p.m.
528 S. Tejon St., 444-8487, southsidejohnnys.biz
Monday doesn't suck so bad anymore with these kinds of specials: From 4 to 7 p.m. and again from 10 p.m. to midnight, get half off of drafts, wells and wines. Or, go for $2 you-call-it drinks after 7 p.m.
414 W. Fillmore St., 290-0407, myspace.com/dinoscosprings
This bar, formerly Rowdy's, abounds with specials. Happy hour, power hour, tons of food and daily specials ranging from an awesome Friday ladies' night
to an all-day happy hour Sunday. But the best night to hit up Dino's is Tuesday. After a $3 to $8 cover charge, depending on your gender, enjoy penny pitchers and penny wells for the girls.
Fox & Hound Pub & Grille
3101 New Center Point Drive, 570-0500, tentcorp.com
Don't pay any attention to the 3 to 7 p.m. happy hour on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Tuesday night is where it's at, thanks to $2 pints on all drafts. And with 36 different beers on tap, you know they've got more to offer than the usual $2 glass of piss.
Jack Quinn Irish Alehouse & Pub
21 S. Tejon St., 385-0766, jackquinnspub.com
Wednesday night is Wings and Bombs night: $4 for a dozen wings and $4 for any bomb shot. But it's worth noting that from 3 to 6 Monday through Friday and from 10 p.m. to close on Sunday, you can get $3 drafts, wells and house wines and $2 off appetizers.
1765 Briargate Pkwy., 548-0113, champps.com
After the usual 4 to 7 weeknight happy hour, which offers $2 Bud, Coors and Miller pints, $4 wells and wines and half-off appetizers, enjoy $2.50 pints until close.
The Blue Star
1645 S. Tejon St., 632-1086, thebluestar.net
Thursday's a good day to play hooky, especially since the Blue Star is offering an all-day happy hour and half-off on Imperial beers from 3 to 9:30 p.m. Can't make it? Try Sunday for half-off wines, or Monday for half-off martinis during the same time.
Hondo's Sports Bar & Grill
4659 Centennial Blvd., 685-8099, hondoscoloradosprings.com
Cheap sluts! It's definitely a thirsty Thursday at Hondo's. From 9 p.m. to close, enjoy half-price apps, $2 wells, Pabst, Blue Moon and Coors Light pints and $2 red-headed sluts, Washington apples and kamikazes.
El Dorado Lounge
11 N. Circle Drive, 471-9811,
You can get $5 to $6 breakfast and lunch specials daily, and Mondays offer $5 pitchersall day. On summer Saturdays, you can bring BYO meat (which they grill for you while you relax). But from 9 p.m. to close Friday, you can get drunk enough to rock karaoke with buy-one-getone-half-off on pitchers and pints.
217 E. Pikes Peak Ave., 635-0999, 13pure.com
Don your finest and head downtown for serious drinking and dancing. For $15, get all-you-can-drink wines, wells and drafts all night, plus $5 Jag and Tuaca bombs. This and Top 40, electro and Latin music on the dance floor will guarantee your Saturday will be spent in bed.
222 N. Tejon St., 636-2311, josemuldoons.com
You drink beer the rest of the week because weekdays are dreary. Saturdays call for something fancier, something you can shoot out of a belly button. Enjoy $2.50 Sauza margs and shots all day at Jos's.
DJ's Bar and Grill
1110 E. Fillmore St., 473-2425, djsbarandgrill.com
Gay bars always have the best drink specials, and DJ's is no exception. If you missed '80s night on Thursday, go in on Saturday. All day long, enjoy BOGO for $1 on wines, wells and drafts and a beer bust from 2 to 6 p.m.
1850 Dominion Way, 265-8820, dublinhouseco.com
If Saturday is for margaritas, then Sunday is for orange juice with booze in it. $2 mimosas, screwdrivers and obligatory morning-after Bloody Marys all day keep the party going.
Mile High Saloon
5943 Delmonico Drive, 548-9490
If fraternities were bars (they aren't?), they would function like Mile High. Every day is a cheap way to get hammered and embarrass yourself. And there's beer pong! Sunday is the highlight with $15 all-you-can-drink, a free lunch at 1 p.m., an open barbecue, free pool and more. This place is the coolest, you don't even know.