Happy hours 

When the Founding Fathers first reminded us of our Cthulhu-granted right to pursue happiness, they probably weren't thinking of our equally Cthulhu-given need to imbibe. (Except for Ben Franklin, maybe.)

But we're thinking of it. Often. So below, we've endeavored to compile the happiest hours, most tempting temptations, and the answer to one of three questions we attempted to ask all of our city's sauce joints. Everything in quotes is what an employee or owner actually told us.

Of course, there are probably more places to drink than there are drinks to drink, and we couldn't reach everyone in town. If we missed your home away from home, let us know at scene@csindy.com, or by posting a comment below.

2 Dog Tavern, 3113 S. Academy Blvd., 392-1928, 2dogtavern.com

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-8 p.m.; Sunday, 6-9

The goods: 50-75 cents off domestic and imported pints, bottles, call-its, wells and house wines

Come here: "If you think you're top dog."

24 Roadhouse Saloon, 525 Juanita St., 578-9084

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks; $3 wells

Best value: Anything. "It's so cheap to drink, it's like going to the VFW."

Ancient Mariner, 962 Manitou Ave., Manitou Springs, 685-5503, ancientmarinertavern.com

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 5-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks

Best value: "Our microbrews."

Back East Bar & Grill, 9475 Briar Village Point, #168, 264-6161, backeastbarandgrill.com

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: Half-price wines, wells and drafts except Guinness, Stella Artois and 471 IPA

Come here if you are: "Human — we have a demographic from 21 to 73."

Belle's Lounge, 734 N. 19th St., 632-4282

Happy hour: Daily, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off domestic drafts, bottles and wells

Favorite pour: "Fuck Me Hard. It's got nine different alcohols and it's fun to make."

Benny's Restaurant & Lounge, 517 W. Colorado Ave., 634-9309

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 wine, wells, domestics; $1.50 Pabst Blue Ribbon; $1 off pitchers

Come here if you are: "Thirsty. I wanted to say 'crazy,' but we've got enough of those."

Bernie's Place, 1106 N. Circle Drive, 635-7865

Happy hour: Daily, 7 a.m. to noon, 5-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off bottled beer; 25 cents off draft beer and pitchers; 50 cents off wells

Favorite pour: "The best one we make here is the Bloody Marys."

Bijou Bar & Grill, 2510 E. Bijou St., 473-5718, bijoubar.com

Happy hour: Wednesday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: Wednesday and Thursday: 50 cents off drinks; Friday: two-for-one wines, wells and drafts

Come here if you are: "Ready to enjoy some spirit and laughter."

Blondie's, 24 N. Tejon St., 227-1001, blondiescs.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-8 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one wines and martinis

Come here if you are: "Classy, upscale and looking for a good time."

Blue Iguana Tavern, 4325 N. Nevada Ave., 260-9309

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents to a dollar off wines, wells and drafts

Best value: "We do $2 double [upgrades]."

Bomber's, 460 N. Murray Blvd., 574-8282

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one wines, wells and drafts

Come here if you are: "A sports fan. I've got 19 TVs here — lots of sports."

Caddy Shack, 4856 Galley Road, 596-7256

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $10 bucket of beers; $7 large pitchers and $3.50 small pitchers; $1.50 drafts

Best value: "$2 schnapps, Monday through Friday."

Carey-On Saloon, 3350 N. Chestnut St., 630-5077, careyonsaloon.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1.50 drafts; $2 bottles

Come here: "If you want cheap drinks and dancing."

CJ's Sports Bar, 3535 N. Carefree Circle, 572-1860, cjssportsbar.com

Happy hour: Daily, 2-6 p.m.; Sunday, all day

The goods: $1 off wines, wells and drafts

Best value: "I would say the draft beer or the well drinks."

Cleats Sports Bar & Grill, 6624 Delmonico Drive, 548-8267

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 drafts; $2.25 pints; $7 pitchers

Come here if you are: "Interested in meeting people — it's a very social bar."

Copperhead Road, 3330 N. Academy Blvd., 596-9151, thecopperheadroad.com

Happy hour: Wednesday-Friday, 5-9 p.m.

The goods: Wednesdays: $1 drafts; $2 wells; $3 bombs; Thursday: ladies drink free

Favorite pour: "Our bomb shots are always popular. I would have to say those and Cowboy Cocktails for $3."

Cowboys, 25 N. Tejon St., 596-1212, worldfamouscowboys.com

Happy hour: Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday, 4-7 p.m.; Friday and Saturday, 4-8

The goods: $2 domestic bottles; two-for-one drafts and mixed drinks

Come here if you are: "Ready for a shit-kicking good time."

Diamond Billiard Lounge, 3780 E. Boulder St., 596-9516

Happy hour: Daily, 1-8 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks, except special liquors (i.e. absinthe)

Favorite pour: "Red-Headed Sluts. That, and Guinness."

Diamond Deb's, 919 Arcturus Drive, 475-1077

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-6 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one drafts and wells

Best value: "We have the 24-ounce can of Miller High Life for $3.50."

Dublin House, 1850 Dominion Way, 265-8820, dublinhouseco.com

Happy hour: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 3-7 p.m.; Tuesday and Thursday, 3-9; Saturday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one wines, wells and drafts

Favorite pour: "Let's go with the Red-Headed Slut."

Duffy's Tavern, 4861 N. Academy Blvd., 599-7739

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 1-7 p.m.

The goods: Monday-Thursday: 50 cents off wines, wells, drafts and bottles; Friday: two-for-one wines, wells and drafts

Best value: "We're pretty much one of the cheapest bars in town. Probably our buckets of beer."

Dutch Mill Tavern, 503 W. Colorado Ave., 471-3370

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-6:30 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks

Favorite pour: "Anything the customer wants — we make it for them. We have a Jell-O shot that's good."

El Dorado Lounge, 11 N. Circle Drive, 471-9811

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 bottles; $5 large pitchers

Best value: "We have a power hour between 11 a.m. to noon, and that's probably the best deal."

Erin Inn, 6480 N. Academy Blvd., 598-3004

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1.50 domestic drafts; $2.50 wells and wines.

Come here if you are: "It's such a diverse group of people that come here. Come here if you want to have fun."

Farside Lounge, 4375 Airport Road, 574-6275, myspace.com/farsidelounge

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: $1.75 to $2 drafts and wells

Come here if you are: "Ready to sing. We have karaoke every Saturday."

Finish Line Lounge, 1812 E. Monument St., 634-9870

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-6 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off most drinks

Come here if you are: "Looking for a good time."

Frankie's Bar & Grill, 945 N. Powers Blvd., 574-4881, frankiesbargrill.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off wines, wells and beers

Best value: "$2 margaritas on Wednesdays."

Frankie's Too, 7368 McLaughlin Road, Falcon, 495-8707, frankiestoo.intuitwebsites.com

Happy hour: Daily, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off wines, wells and bottles

Come here if you are: "Looking for laid-back, casual dining."

Gasoline Alley, 28 N. Tejon St., 636-2244, gasolinealleycs.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-8 p.m.

The goods: $3 pints; $6 pitchers

Come here if you are: "Wild, crazy and ready to rock out."

Gee Cues Sports Bar, 3906 E. San Miguel St., 638-6855

Happy hour: Monday-Saturday, 4-7 p.m.; Sunday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

The goods: $2 bottles and drafts; $2.25 shots

Come here if you are: "A good pool player."

Golden Cue, 2790 S. Hancock Expy., 390-7633, goldencueonline.com

Happy hour: Daily, 1-7 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one wines, wells and drafts

Come here if you are: "Legit. That's the first thing that comes to mind."

Good Company Bar and Restaurant, 7625 N. Union Blvd., 528-8877, goodcompanybar.com

Happy hour: Daily (except Saturday), 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2.50 wells, wines and drafts; $6 pitchers

Best value: "The company ... the people — it's Good Company."

Guthrie's Bar & Grill, 1410 Kelly Johnson Blvd., 260-8486

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off wells and drafts; $1 shots

Best value: "Our Cuervo is $3.75."

Harry's Sports Bar & Grill, 4767 N. Carefree Circle, 380-1111

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: Monday and Tuesday: two-for-ones; Wednesday-Friday: 50 cents off wines, wells and drafts

Favorite pour: "Vineyards." (Raspberry vodka, peach schnapps, Red Bull, cranberry juice)

The Hatch Cover Bar & Grill, 252 E. Cheyenne Mountain Blvd., 576-5223, hatchcover.biz

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 3-6 p.m.

The goods: $2 drafts and $2.75 bottles of Miller Genuine Draft, Coors Light and Bud Light; $2.50 wells; $3 house wines

Come here if you are: "Looking for a good time with good people."

Hill Top Lounge, 4829 Barnes Road, 574-4288

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 5-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off wells and draft beer

Come here if you are: "Thirsty."

Hondo's Sports Bar & Grill, 4659 Centennial Blvd., 685-8099, hondoscoloradosprings.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1 off all drinks

Best value: "$3 Tuaca shots on Tuesdays, and $2 buckets of beer on Saturdays."

Irish House IV Lounge, 2001 E. Platte Ave., 520-9930

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1 drafts; $2 bottles; $2.50 imports; $1 off everything else

Favorite pour: "Hmmm ... there's so many. Mudslide, I guess."

Joe's Bar, 4763 Flintridge Drive, 599-8382

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 5-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks; $1 off pitchers

Come here if you are: "Wild and crazy."

Jack Quinn Irish Alehouse & Pub, 21 S. Tejon St., 385-0766, jackquinnspub.com

Happy hour: Daily, 3-6 p.m. with some holiday exceptions

The goods: $3 wines, wells and drafts; $1 off bottled beer

Come here if you are: "Interested in experiencing a slice of Ireland in Colorado Springs."

Kelly O'Brian's Sports Bar, 239 N. Academy Blvd., 573-1976

Happy hour: Monday-Saturday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one wines, wells and drafts

Favorite pour: "Orange Crush. It's pineapple Parrot Bay and liquor. It's a shot."

Kinfolks Mountain Shop, 950 Manitou Ave., Manitou Springs, 685-4433, kinfolksmanitou.com

Happy hour: Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, all day.

The goods: Monday: $1 off beers; Tuesday: $3 beers; Thursday: $3.50 beers

Best value: "We supply some great craft beers. That's what we do."

Knob Hill Lounge, 2100 E. Platte Ave., 633-5844

Happy hour: Daily, 4-6 p.m.

The goods: $1 drafts, $2 wells and domestics

Favorite pour: "Lately it's been Velvet Panties." (Kool-Aid, vodka)

Loonee's Comedy Corner, 1305 N. Academy Blvd., 591-0707, loonees.com

Happy hour: Tuesday-Friday, post-show, midnight to 2 a.m.

The goods: $2 off all drinks

Come here if you are: "Willing to have fun."

McCabe's Tavern, 520 S. Tejon St., 633-3300, mccabestavern.com

Happy hour: Daily, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: $4 pints, $4.50 imperial pints

Best value: "I'd probably say a Long Island."

Meadow Muffins, 2432 W. Colorado Ave., 633-0583

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2.50 domestic pints; $3 wells; $4 wines

Come here if you are: "That is such a trap and I resent it! Can I take the Fifth?"

Metropolis Supper Club, 1201 W. Colorado Ave., 227-9888, metropolissupperclub.com

Happy hour: Tuesday-Sunday, 4-7 p.m.; Sundays, 11 a.m. to close.

The goods: $2.50 Bloody Marys or $8 Bloody Mary pitchers; $2.25 domestic beers; $1 off well drinks

Come here if you are: "Ready to experience something different — we have 1940s art deco decor."

Mill Hill Saloon, 1668 S. 21st St., 632-6932

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off wells, drafts and domestics

Best value: "All our prices are really good. We're one of the cheapest bars on the west side."

Murray Street Darts, 609 N. Murray Blvd., 573-0467

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 5-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks

Come here if you are: "A hardworking Joe that enjoys a cigarette and a cold beer."

Music Street Tavern, 204 N. Union Blvd., 635-5708, myspace.com/musicstreettavern

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1.50 draft PBR, $3 pitchers, everything else half-off

Favorite pour: "I'm the show bartender, so I make mixed drinks. I can make a Peppermint Patty that tastes just like a York."

O'Furry's, 900 E. Fillmore St., 634-3106, ofurrys.com

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents to $1 off wines, wells, pitchers and drafts

Best value: "$2.50 Bloody Marys on Sundays."

Old School Tavern, 2945 Galley Road, 638-7887

Happy hour: Daily, 2-7 p.m.

The goods: Free shot with drink purchase; 50 cents off beer and wine

Come here if you are: "Mature and responsible."

Oscar's Tejon Street, 333 S. Tejon St., 471-8070, oscarstejonstreet.com

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1 off drafts, domestic bottles and wells.

Best value: "Two-for-ones, all day, every on-draft beer."

Oscar's East, 5910 Omaha Blvd., 574-7447, oscarstejonstreet.com

Happy hour: Daily except Saturday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $1 off drafts, domestic bottles and wells

Favorite pour: "The Fish Bowl. It has four liquors and comes in a bucket."

Overtime Sports Bar & Grill, 2809 Dublin Blvd., 531-6032, otsportsbarandgrill.com

Happy hour: Daily, 3-7 p.m., 10 to midnight

The goods: Two-for-one wines, wells and drafts; $1 off bottles and pitchers

Favorite pour: "I pour beer. Definitely not martinis."

Pine Gables-Stray Dog Saloon, 10530 Ute Pass Ave., Green Mountain Falls, 684-2555

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 5-7 p.m.

The goods: $1 off all drinks

Come here if you are: "Out for fun."

The Point Sports Bar & Grill, 1545 S. Eighth St., 473-1155

Happy hour: Friday, 5-8 p.m.

The goods: $2 drafts and wells; $2.50 wines

Favorite pour: "I don't know, I'm kind of busy."

Rascal's Bar, 1785 B St., 576-2238

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: $2.50 domestics; $4 wells

Best value: "Monday and Tuesday nights, after 6, are free pool and $3.50 small pitchers and $6 large pitchers."

Red Rock Lounge, 3113 W. Colorado Ave., 634-9222

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off wines, bottles, wells and drafts

Best value: "Draft beer for like two bucks."

Redstone Room, 414 W. Fillmore St., 635-9211, myspace.com/theredstone

Happy hour: 4:30-5:30 p.m., daily (pending liquor license return later this month)

The goods: All liquor shots, mugs and bottles of beer for $1

Favorite pour: "The Wisconsin Lunchbox." (shot of Amaretto in a half glass of beer topped with orange juice)

Rhino's Sports & Spirits, 4307 Integrity Center Drive, 578-0608, rhinosbar.com

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 3-7 p.m.; Monday-Thursday, 11 p.m. to 2 a.m.

The goods: $1 off all drinks; $3 20-ounce beers

Best value: "We have $5 Long Islands, and we have $2 house shots."

Ritz Grill, 15 S. Tejon St., 635-8484, ritzgrill.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4:30-7:30 p.m.

The goods: $3 house wines; $3 drafts; $2 off martinis

Come here if you are: "I don't think I can answer that appropriately — I'd say a cougar. No, our real answer is a young professional."

Robin Hood Tavern, 2830 N. Nevada Ave., 520-0363

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-6 p.m.

The goods: $1.75 pints

Favorite pour: "Bloody Marys. I make good ones."

Rocket Room, 230 Pueblo Ave., 447-4990

Happy hour: Wednesday-Saturday, 3-7 p.m.

The goods: $5 pitchers; $3.50 pints of Pinstripe and Arrogant Bastard; $3.50 Jameson; $3 wells

Come here if you are: "Not lame and into supporting your local businesses."

Royal Tavern, 924 Manitou Ave., Manitou Springs, 685-9916

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-6 p.m.

The goods: $6 pitchers; $2.75 wines and domestics; $2 drafts

Come here if you are: "Things come to mind but I don't want to say them. I don't know."

Rum Bay, 25 N. Tejon St., 520-0900, myspace.com/rumbay

Happy hour: Daily, 4-8 p.m.

The goods: Two-for-one drinks

Come here if you are: "In the mood to groove."

Shovelhead Saloon, 4130 Hwy. 85/87, 392-2665

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 drafts and bottles

Come here if you are: "A family-oriented biker guy."

SouthSide Johnny's, 528 S. Tejon St., 444-8487, southsidejohnnys.biz

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 domestics; $2.50 microbrews, wells and white wines; $3.50 red wines

Best value: "Wednesdays and Thursdays in the Paradise Lounge, it's half-off any martini or glass of wine."

Sufferin' Bastard Tavern, 632 Peterson Road, 596-6326

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 25 to 75 cents off drinks

Come here if you are: "Thirsty and road worn."

Thirsty's, 2028 Sheldon Ave., 444-8515

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, (downstairs) 9-11 a.m., 4-7 p.m.; (upstairs) 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 75 cents off wines, wells and drafts

Come here if you are: "Horny, drunk or broke."

Thirsty Parrot, 32 S. Tejon St., 884-1094, thirstyparrot.net

Happy hour: Tuesday-Saturday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 wells and domestic drafts; $2.50 wines, microbrews and imports

Favorite pour: "I enjoy them all the same. Pouring a drink is pouring a drink."

Thunder & Buttons II, 2415 W. Colorado Ave., 447-9888, thunderandbuttons.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2 wells and domestic pints; $3.25 premium drafts; $3.50 wines

Best value: "Our bottled beers are the cheapest around."

Time Out Sports Lounge and Deli, 3721 Drennan Road, 390-7257

Happy hour: Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m.

The goods: "Pull-tabs with different discounts."

Best value: "Pitchers, probably."

Tony's, 311 N. Tejon St., 228-6566, tonysdowntownbar.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $3.25 wells and shots; $3.25 mini-pitchers; $4.25 wines

Come here if you are: "Parched or thirsty. We're your favorite watering hole."

Triple Nickel Tavern, 26 S. Wahsatch Ave., 477-9555, myspace.com/555nickel

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: $2.50 wells; $2.50 domestics; $1 off drafts except Pabst Blue Ribbon

Favorite pour: "My favorite is probably the Kamikaze."

The Underground, 110 N. Nevada Ave., 578-7771, undergroundbars.com

Happy hour: Monday-Saturday, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: All drinks are either $2 or $2 off

Best value: "$5 martinis on Thursdays."

Union Station, 2419 N. Union Blvd., 227-7168, unionstationrox.com

Happy hour: Daily, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m.

The goods: Half-off wells, wine and drafts; $1 off all other drinks

Favorite pour: "Our Train Wreck. There's eight different liquors and it tastes like fruit punch."

Will's Sports Pub, 424 S. Nevada Ave., 475-2122, willssportspub.com

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.

The goods: 50 cents off all drinks

Best value: "Most of our Absolut is $4."

Yukon Tavern, 525 S. Circle Drive, 475-0050

Happy hour: Daily, 4-7 p.m.; Wednesday, all day

The goods: Half-off wells, wines and drafts

Best value: "Beer is $1.75 for a pint during happy hour."

Lookin' for a good time ...

Nobody likes being put on the spot, so it's understandable that we met with mixed (read: no) success when we attempted to get an inspired answer from each of our bars to our fill-in-the-blank query, "Come here if you are ..."

Understandable. But disappointing nonetheless.

For instance, you might think that a place known for drawing rowdy seekers of affection would seize upon some of the more obvious answers out there: "Lonely." "Needing a certain ... I don't know what." "Spooning your couch pillows." "Spooning somebody else's couch pillows." "Spooning the couch."

You might think this would be a perfect time for people to extol their bar's more virtuous virtues, i.e. "Come here if you are": "Concerned about exposure to daylight." "Seeking fine entertainment in the form of things you put quarters in." "Noticing that you haven't slurred 'I lub you' at anyone today."

Lastly, you might think you'd see perhaps the best and only reasons to bar-hop: "Suffering from a debilitating case of not-drinking-a-lot." "Stumbling around confused because the room isn't spinning." "Craving the excitement of the will-I or won't-I walk into the door dilemma." "Sober."

Alas ...

Of course, don't let the absence of these answers deter you from visiting any of the locales listed here. In fact, as luck would have it, every single bar in the city would recommend you visit if you're hungry and thirsty and looking to have a good/fun/enjoyable/relaxed/party time with your boy/girl/friends/family at a cheap/affordable/neighborhood bar where everyone knows your name/drink/eye color.

So salud, l'chaim and sláinte, and don't forget to tip your bartenders.

— Bryce Crawford