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Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

July 21, 2003

Pikes Peak Gay & Lesbian Community Center

716 1/2 N. Tejon Street

Colorado Springs, CO 80903

Dear PPGLCC:

As an effete heterosexual, I've long looked to the gay community as a pillar of sartorial sensibility. Gay men, I once thought, could be counted on to provide a benchmark for all that's good about male fashion and grooming. If someone tells me I look gay, I take it as a compliment

* as it reduces any chance of being mistaken for a resident of Manitou Springs.

And then I went to Pikes Peak PrideFest.

I'll try to keep this short, but when City Councilman Richard Skorman is better dressed than most of the gay community, something is really, really wrong.

Look, I can be reasonable. Nothing beats Dykes on Bikes and I welcome the mulleted lesbians who're outfitted as if a softball game might commence at any moment. Leathermen in chaps and chains -- bring 'em in by the busload!

But matching tie-died shorts, T-shirts, socks and beach hats? Collared shirts tucked in without belts? Visible folds of flesh violating multiple statutes of the Too Much Visual Information Act? Pleated khakis? What's going on?

Permit me to issue a secular fatwah: In the cradle of the religious right, the gay community has a responsibility to behave as gaily as possible. Far be it from me to define gayness, but clearly the aesthetic abominations I witnessed in Acacia Park last month cannot stand.

You're here, you're queer, you're not wearing that!

Sincerely,

Kenneth Cleaver

*then I punch them in the face

  • Consumer Correspondent

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