P.O. Box 1034
Colorado Springs, CO 80901
November 21, 2003
Vail Chamber & Business Association
241 S. Frontage Road E. Ste #2
Vail, Colorado 81657
Dear Vail Chamber & Business Association:
I understand Vail's image as a high-end destination resort is being jeopardized by Front Range day-trippers. As was reported in the Denver Post, well-to-do visitors are not returning because the town has been courting the business of dubious Front Rangers.
As an entity that caters to an elite clientele, perhaps you might understand my predicament. I have long made an effort to accommodate myself to the aesthetic and social mores of the bourgeoisie even though my income places me smack in the lower middle class. I realize, of course, that confusing income for class is a patently American mistake. However, the ensuing cognitive dissonance is killing me.
Passing for a man of leisure provides me with access to interesting conversation, copious amounts of free, low-fat food and disaffected, aging trophy wives delighted to have their plastic surgery justified by a man willing to feign interest in their sad, pathetic lives.
I'm hoping you can provide me with several visual and social cues I may not yet be aware of that might cause Vail's preferred visitors to get hip to the fact that I'm not of the class that uses summer as a verb. I don't wish to be mistaken for a Front Ranger.
Your assistance is most appreciated.
Frigging priceless, dude.
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