Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

Kenneth H. Cleaver

P.O. Box 1034

Colorado Springs, CO 80901

November 26, 2003

Loews Hotels

Attn: Metro Man Makeover

667 Madison Avenue

New York, NY 10021

Dear Loews:

I have a few questions about your Metro Man makeover package.

I'm extremely interested, but only if you can guarantee that my personal shopper, hairdresser, and other advisers are 100 percent gay. The last time I trusted a straight man for fashion advice, I wound up with a fanny pack around my sweat pants. The last time I trusted a bisexual for anything beyond vegetarian recipes, I found myself in a sweat lodge.

Also, within my resident state of Colorado, the bar for metrosexuality is astonishingly low. We're talking Will Ferrell low, Jack Black low, even, yep, Michael Moore low.

Therefore, I'm wondering if there might be a slightly diminished makeover package available to the Rocky Mountain metrosexual who wants to court female attention while avoiding successive ass-kickings.

Please advise.


Kenneth H. Cleaver

click here to read Loews' response

  • Consumer Correspondent


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Latest in Kenneth Cleaver

Popular Events

  • "A Late Night Wake Up Call: The 1916 Mexican Punitive Expedition and the Foundations of American Air Power" @ Library 21c

    • Wed., Aug. 10, 7-8 p.m. Free
  • Hops on the Bus 2016 @ Community Partnership for Child Development

    • Tue., July 26, 5-7 p.m. Free
    • Buy Tickets
  • Jerry Seinfeld @ Pikes Peak Center

    • Fri., July 29, 7 p.m.
    • Buy Tickets
  • Resumes that Get Results @ Library 21c

    • Thu., July 28, 4-6 p.m. Free
    • Buy Tickets
  • Power Finish @ Garden of the Gods Club

    • Tue., July 26, 8:30-11 a.m. $35/member, $40/non-member
    • Buy Tickets

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

All content © Copyright 2016, The Colorado Springs Independent   |   Website powered by Foundation