Kenneth H. Cleaver
P.O. Box 810
Bedford, NY 10506
Mr. Bob Ulrich, CEO
33 South 6th Street
Minneapolis, MN 55440
Dear Mr. Ulrich:
I was delighted to learn that Target contributed to the restoration of the Washington Monument. The monument is often derided by sophomoric intellectuals as a phallic paean to American colonialism. I believe our country, with its myriad of caverns, caves and canyons; affords enough sexual iconography to satisfy both genders.
While in Maine last summer, several friends and I made a trip to the highest point in Acadia National Park for the purposes of viewing the sunset. To my surprise there were nearly 100 sunset fans assembled with beach chairs and snacks. I didn't realize sunsets still had a following. While most public events, outdoor concerts, parades, etc. are underwritten or directly sponsored by a corporation, I thought this situation ripe with opportunity.
Target might research sunset viewing locales throughout the United States and, during the summer months, set up beach chairs and serve light refreshments -- all conveniently available at Target stores. This practice might be met with initial shock, orchestrated outrage and cynicism, but over time the benefits will be incalculable. Instead of associating sunsets with the majestic beauty of nature, inspirational self-improvement greeting cards and quasi-spiritual epiphanies, people will associate sunsets with Target stores and products. The ubiquity of sunsets translates to millions of dollars in free publicity and advertising.
You owe me big-time.
Kenneth H. Cleaver
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