Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Kenneth Cleaver
Consumer Correspondent
Kenneth H. Cleaver
P.O. Box 1034
Colorado Springs, CO 80901
September 24, 2004
Mr. Gary Ojendyk
General Manager of Merchandising
Costco Wholesalers
999 Lake Drive
Issaquah, WA 98027
Dear Mr. Ojendyk:
I understand Costco is now selling caskets for $799. This appeals to me on many levels.
I like the idea of picking out my own box and owning it. I like knowing that my progeny won't have to go through the agonizing dilemma of not wanting to drop seven grand on a piece of landfill, yet not wanting to appear cheap. The problem is that keeping a coffin around the house is creepy. If you're a single man, it's just not something you'd want to bring a lady friend home to. Know what I mean?
So what I'm thinking is a Coffin Table. You know, like a coffee table. Something that, with a few quick adjustments, can sit disguised in your living room for a lifetime -- literally!
I realize this means death will require the sudden purchase of a replacement coffee table. But I just don't think that's as emotionally trying as casket shopping. Unless, of course, you're shopping with my mother, but that's another story.
I'd have included a design sketch, but I'm a hopeless artist. While recognizing that unsolicited ideas are not considered by many companies, I think this one really has a chance. Don't you?
Sincerely,
Kenneth Cleaver
