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Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

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January 20, 2005

Hooters of Hollywood
Attn: Proprietor
6922 Hollywood Blvd. Suite 109
Hollywood CA, 90028

To Whom It May Concern:

The graphy below illustrates a distrubing trend: The duration of my relationships with women hinges on the number of our dates at Hooters.

If I'm a commited Hooters customer, is it not deeply hypocritical to deny my patronage simply because I'm courting a lady? Should I pretend that Hooters is not my preferred venue for dining and entertainment just because it would make my date(s) more comfortable?

What should I do? I'm very lonely. Please help.

Sincerely,

Kenneth Cleaver

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