Mr. Mike Ferguson
Chief Communications Officer
Specialty Coffee Association of America
330 Golden Shore, Suite 50
Long Beach, CA 90802
Dear Mr. Ferguson:
You probably know that certain political pundits have decided that lattes are the official drink of effete coastal liberals who, among other things, are incurably ironic, hopelessly out of touch with the heartland, have never cracked a Timothy LaHaye* novel and probably hate America.
Just curious how your sales data bears this out. I'm particularly interested in the ideologies of those who opt for slightly different gourmet beverages. For instance, I have a mocha-loving colleague who's a New Republic centrist. I have a friend who drinks eggnog year-round and does not hate America, but heaven help the poor fool who brings up Finland.
And what of conservative latte drinkers? Is there such a thing? Do they have a support group? If so, would you say it's as large as the Log Cabin Republicans? Please get back to me. I need to know.
Kenneth H. Cleaver
* Some actually consider this a bad thing.