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Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

July 19, 2005

Mr. John Rother

Officer of Policy & Strategy

American Association of Retired Persons

601 E Street NW

Washington, DC 20049

Dear Mr. Rother:

My father is throwing in the towel. He has a lot of questions about aging and retirement but he's too embarrassed to ask, so he's pawned it off on me. Actually, I offered to do it. I need to borrow money and this is a painless way to gain his good favor.

The questions are more or less in his words. They are as follows:

When will the buffet food start to taste good?

At what point will hiking my pants to breast-level seem like a good idea?

What is the preferred form of salutation: Huh? or What?

At what age do fanny packs become mandatory?

What if I don't like Florida?

Will they still make movies about old people learning to love again?

What's all the fuss about Viagra?*

Should I start complaining now?

The old man will really appreciate your answers. And so will I.

Sincerely,

Kenneth Cleaver

______________________________

*If you answer nothing else, please answer this question.

Read the Response.

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