Ms. Laura Davis
c/o Booth Media Group
1386 Nightshade Rd.
Carlsbad, CA 92009
Dear Ms. Davis,
My partner and I are struggling to find a name for our baby.
I say struggling because friends, relatives and acquaintances have claimed dibs on all of our favorites. These include, but are not limited to: Autumn, Winter, Montana, Dylan, Mackenzie, Brayden, Salmon, Parker, Amber, Adzuki, Bulgur, Topher, Tofu, Widget, Connor and Yogurt.
We feel our child deserves the best, and it all begins with a name. It should be something that sets him or her apart from peers and, in effect, starts the branding process that will differentiate s/him in the competitive marketplace of the future.
It is very important that our child's name suggest a lifestyle that's both exotic and respectable. It's also important that the name connects, however vaguely, with the ethnic identities our baby-boomer parents were only too quick to repudiate.
Finally -- and this is more of a predicament for a boy than a girl -- we want to make sure that the name attracts attention without inviting undue ass-kickings.
Any advice you might offer would be appreciated.
Sincerely,
Kenneth Cleaver