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Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

Proprietor

Airport Lounge Gentlemen's Club

5881 S. Howell Ave.

Milwaukee, WI 53207-6229

Dear Proprietor:

I post this letter as a last-ditch effort as I am not a man of the telephone and old-fashioned human interaction has failed me entirely. In the course of querying friends and colleagues as to just what goes on at that Gentleman's Club? I was met with two different responses. Women grew quickly uncomfortable, while men knowingly guffawed as if my inquiry was an outright jest. I only hope you will take my request in earnest as such evasiveness has served only to whet my appetite for information.

It is my understanding that the term gentleman refers to propertied members of society, those whose birthright affords a lifestyle free from financial worry and toil. Like many members of the middle class, I harbor a near obsessive preoccupation as to the doings of my more fortunate countrymen. I frequently browse Ralph Lauren and William Sonoma stores and take in films starring Helena Bonham Carter.

I notice that your club does not offer facilities for tennis, golf, polo or any of the recreational practices associated with the gentleman class. I am thus assuming that your club features parlors for billiards and chess, in addition to a library, ballroom and dining room. When I have driven by at night, the parking lot is chock-full of vehicles that, to my understanding, would be more suited for the club's help. I have read that many gentlemen indulge in a practice known as slumming, wherein they temporarily masquerade as members of the proletariat. I must confess that I never would guess such behavior would manifest itself so convincingly with such a motley potpourri of rumpled pickup trucks and gaudy sports cars. Perhaps I am wrong and these vehicles belong to the help, in which case I must wonder why they are not consigned to the rear of the establishment?

Even if social confines prevent me from experiencing your institution, I do pray you might illuminate me with a description, however brief, of your history, membership and practices. I would appreciate it enormously.

Respectfully Yours,

Kenneth H. Cleaver Read the Response.

  • Consumer Correspondent

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