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Life in Colorful Colorado 

click to enlarge The winning generic quarter.
  • The winning generic quarter.

And now for a couple of tidbits from the past few weeks: Everything would be just dandy with the Sunny Arabs if it weren't for all the Shelties giving them such a hard time in Bighead...

Usually the Gazette gives us nothing -- less than nothing, really -- to chuckle about. But its creative use of a spell-check program on May 20 had us laughing so hard we could barely pull ourselves off the floor. The front-page story, reprinted from The New York Times, was about how Iraq had issued a statement admitting fault in its war with Iran in the 1980s. The piece started off just fine, but when it jumped to page 8, all heck broke loose. Here's just one paragraph, to give you an idea of what the Gazette reported:

click to enlarge Why is the Unabomber skiing on our coin?
  • Why is the Unabomber skiing on our coin?

"Sunny resentment has hardened recently, with a leading Sunny cleric accusing a government militia, made up largely of Shelties, of carrying out mosque raids and killings. On Thursday, two Sunny groups called for the temporary closing of dozens of Bighead mosques as a protest."

Sunny, Sunni ... Sheltie, Shiite ... Bighead, Baghdad. It's all the same, right? The story referred to Saddam Hussein as "Sadden" Hussein; Saleh Mutlak as "Sale Mukluk"; and Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini as Ayatollah "Royally" Khomeini. Our favorite: Farideh Farhi, a professor of Iranian politics, became "Frieda Fairy."

Rather than providing a detailed correction listing the embarrassing individual mistakes in the story, the Gazette opted to reprint a corrected version the next day.

click to enlarge Pikes Peak is a bust.
  • Pikes Peak is a bust.

So Colorado has its quarter, but apparently even that can't happen without scandal. When Gov. Bill Owens announced his selection -- the image of a mountain peak with pine trees and the phrase "Colorful Colorado" -- his office suggested the picked peak was just a generic one. Owens didn't want to play favorites between the five final designs, it seems, though it's a little unclear who, exactly, would be miffed by the selection of Pikes Peak over the Maroon Bells.

But folks immediately turned to blogs across the state, claiming the winning "generic" quarter actually featured Crestone Peak in the Sangre de Cristo range (no way), or Longs Peak and Pagoda Peak, connected by the Keyboard of the Winds, in Rocky Mountain National Park (sure looks like it).

Here's a snippet of opinions that appeared on coloradopols.com, a political blog:

click to enlarge Mesa Verde may be one of the 10 manmade wonders of - the world, but its not good enough for a quarter.
  • Mesa Verde may be one of the 10 manmade wonders of the world, but its not good enough for a quarter.

"The mountain looks stupid. I wouldn't want to ski it. I wouldn't even think of skiing in Colorado with a sucky mountain like that."

"I didn't really like any of the designs that [Owens] had to choose from."

"Sadly, you can't do colorful on a quarter. Otherwise, Wisconsin would look like cheddar cheese."

click to enlarge The columbine is cool, but isnt Maroon Bells near librul - Aspen?
  • The columbine is cool, but isnt Maroon Bells near librul Aspen?

One person considered the bright side by conjuring the famous words that Gov. Owens uttered to the world during Colorado's wicked summer of forest fires in 2002:

"At least 'all of Colorado' isn't burning on the quarter."

-- degette@csindy.com

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