Long story short 

Perhaps you've checked in on the Tiger Woods drama recently and read phrases such as "steamy purported sex texts," or "best known for her stint on VH1's Tool Academy." If so, maybe you've wondered whether news gets stupider than this.

We're here to tell you that it does, and the proof is right here.

The idea behind "Broken news" was simple: Collect the most inane, inexplicable and/or unlikely tips received over the course of a year, and pass them on to you for a laugh. That's it, really. Unless you decide to take Utilities up on its "Spring Break at the power plant" idea this March, nothing in this package is likely to make you smarter.

That said, I should note that the rest of this issue does contain plenty of actual "news": Rich Tosches' column about Focus on the Family's Super Bowl plans stands out, as does Bill Forman's interview with Lurrie Bell, a Grammy nominee en route to the Crystola Bar & Grill. And we've got reviews of three big Christmas Day movies, plus a New Year's Eve rundown that may help you plan your start to 2010.

Which leads me to a humble word to the wise. Whatever you decide to do on Dec. 31, remember that despite appearances, not all shot girls are kosher.


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