In last week's column, I committed the cardinal sin of "professional rock 'n' roll journalism." In fact, I broke both of the "rules" that govern rock reporting. The first rule, which also applies to politics, automobile mechanics and psychiatry, is to never admit you've made a mistake. A rock journalist's word is only as good as the pretension it's built upon, and I apologize if I showed any cracks in my foundation. (My wife will be joking me on that line for sure).
The second, and far more serious offense (I only hope my "professional rock 'n' roll journalist" peers can forgive me), was spilling the beans on the free gold crowns. I guess mine fit loose enough to allow blood into my brain, which was certainly the cause of my indiscretions (the same thing happened to U.S. Sen. Larry Craig, oddly enough).
So, instead of any further admissions of guilt, incompetence or wrongdoing, any errors found throughout subsequent columns (hidden intentionally, no doubt) should be treated simply as word puzzles. Just circle the errors and submit them, along with a crisp Canadian $20 bill, to Adam Leech, Professional Rock 'n' Roll Journalist, c/o the Independent. If you catch them all, you "may" be eligible to win a gold crown of your very own!
Now enough with the gobbledygook, let's make some noise!
There's a new threat stalking the local rock scene, and believe me, it's a monster. In fact, it is Monster, and, boy, did that band bring the rock down something fierce on The Rocket Room last Saturday night. I can testify with firsthand knowledge not of the show mind you, but of their past-noon Sunday "Hair of the Dog" and the tales of battle-forged camaraderie I was elated to observe.
Monster is comprised of some serious players, including a man who gets paid to make people bleed, Steve Bauer of Premier Tattoos. He also happens to be the guy who used to play drums for ska-punk pioneers Buck-O-Nine.
Monster is also packing the pipes of Stanley Clark Rose, who has sung on projects with dudes from Megadeth, Warrant, Ozzy and the Nuge! Also involved: ex-Betting on the Muse/Cobra Kai bass fiddler Patrick Ledbetter and Ron Jacobs, former fret shredder for the ber-glam metal band Pretty Boy Floyd! Watch out, everyone, there's a Monster on the loose!
Speaking of monsters, it is October, the evilest and most awesome month of the year, and it's time to get ready for the evilest and most awesome event of the year. For God knows how long now, The Mansfields have hosted the Horror Hop/Zombie Prom, much to the delight of dead boys and their ghoulfiends everywhere.
Joining The Mansfields on Saturday, Oct. 27, will be the Go Go Gore Girls, Get 3 Coffins Ready and The Royal Dead. And don't give me any "no-babysitter" excuses I'm giving you plenty of time. Get tickets at the door at Bigg City Events Center (5825 Mark Dabling Blvd.).
And for those of you still waiting on that big Mansfields announcement, I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to sit on it for a while longer. I will tell you this though: It has absolutely nothing to do with Capitol Records.
Farewell, comrades! Smell you later!
Adam is only as pretentious as the information you give him allows him to be. So send him band photos, demos and show info at firstname.lastname@example.org. And let him remain on his high horse.