It has recently come to my attention that many of my readers, in addition to having absolutely no idea what I am talking about when I say things like, "the so-and-so's play a unique blend of alt.emo prog/grass with a dash of thee olde school thrash-grind and heavy post-electro-pop undertones," also have absolutely no idea when I am being sarcastic (which is just about half the time) or not (usually the other half).
So when I say something like, "Oh the joy, Hollywood's latest 'n greatest, kid-tested, mother-approved, dreamo, glitter-punk, pretty-boy, hard r-r-rock-'n-roll quartet, the Faded, is playing a free acoustic show at the Chapel Hills Mall Hot Topic store (1710 Briargate Blvd.) at 2 o' the clock on Friday, July 17, followed by a live show and DVD taping later that evening with U.K.'s the Culprit at the illustrious Sunshine Studios (3970 Clearview Frontage Road)," many of you will be totally clueless as to the true meaning of my statement.
Let me dissect it for you. The Faded, according to its official band MySpace bio, "combines catchy melodies, meaningful lyrics, rich instrumentation, and captivating stage shows. Their music blends 70s glam rock, mid-80s techno-punk, early alternative, and todays [sic] edgy music to create a new and very memorable, yet comfortably familiar sound." OMG, gag me with a chainsaw!
Also taking into consideration that the Faded has a track on a new compilation album titled High School Musical Tribute: Goes Punk and is on a tour of Hot Topic stores throughout the Southwest and Texas, well, can you blame me if I get just a wee bit sarcastic?
But on a serious note, though, Sunshine Studios does have some very impressive capabilities for sound and video production, and it doesn't surprise me one bit that a big-shot, shooting-star, LA-LA band would choose its facilities to produce a live video. So, who knows, maybe I'm not being a sarcastic bastard. Maybe I love the Faded? Maybe they really are the future of American rock 'n roll? Maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot!? Also on the Sunshine Studios bill are some locals, Collapsing Waveforms and Bull Gives You Red Wings. Ew.
In other news (warning: information processed in a facility that also processes cynicism — may contain trace amounts of sarcasm, irony and/or derision): After years and years of dominance in the SouthCO bar scene, and despite Alice Cooper calling them "the best bar band in America, period," and despite reportedly successful gigs at Sky Sox Stadium and a scheduled slot at the Colorado Springs World Arena on July 30, the Nocturnal Tomatoes are calling it quits. According to a brief but official band MySpace JPEG, "As of 7/5/09 The Nocturnal Tomatoes are no longer together." Oh dear! As of press time, the band, which featured Jonny Nelson on guitar, Parker Hise on bass and the Green Room's Craig Tomanini on the drums, was unavailable for comment.
Well guys, we are creeping up on two whole years of Reverb, Adam Leech style ... can you believe it? Where does the time go? Anyhow, it seems like a good time to see how it's going, eh? So how about you write me, already?! Tell me you love me. Tell me you care. Tell me how hard I suck at life. Just tell me something! Otherwise, it'll be more of this sarcastic drivel, and you will have no one but yourself to blame!
Smell that one later, bucko!