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As stated in last week's report, summer 2010 will mark the single most important music culture event seen in Colorado for the better part of the last two decades. No, Zombie John Denver is NOT crashing Red Rocks. I am talking about the most infamously unfamous band Colorado band EVER, the Warlock Pinchers, whose reign of proto-rap/punk terror had the Mile High scene trembling from 1987 to 1992.

Critics would argue that the group, lead by emcees K.C. K-Sum and King Scratchie, with their pals 3KSK (guitar/beatbox), DDRoK (guitar) and EERoK (bass), plus the hardest-working drum machine in showbidniz, was sloppy, degenerative, offensive and unabashedly affiliated with Satan (band slogan: "The Official Sound of Satan"). They would say that songs like "Morrissey Rides a Cockhorse" (opening line: "That crybaby son of a bitch, no talent motherfucker") and "James Dean" (Chorus: "James Dean is an overrated asshole") are harsh and insensitive portrayals of innocent people, and that their obsessions with '80s teen pop sensation Tiffany, Jolt Cola and Fruit Stripe Gum are unhealthy at best. They would call the campus-wide CU ban justified, and add that attempts by Denver authorities and media to stop the Pinchers were necessary to protect the public's general well-being. To this I would say, probably.

Upon their breakup in '92, a full two years before I stumbled upon a copy of their infallible debut, Deadly Kung Fu Action, their saga was carried underground, from one punk to another, each lamenting the band's premature demise as intensely as those before them. Occasionally, a firsthand account would surface, usually a tale of chaos, fire and nudity. I once met a man with a Warlock Pinchers T-shirt. He laughed when I offered him $100.

Now, after nearly two decades of speculation, the original band will reunite (with a live drummer ... rumored to be the Melvins' Dale Crover, none-the-less!) for a single show, Friday, Aug. 6, at the Gothic Theatre in Denver. In addition, the group is set to celebrate a new CD, Bomb the Franklin Mint, with a huge, free, all-ages party at the Oriental Theater (4335 W. 44th Ave., Denver), from 6 to 8 p.m. this Saturday, May 15. The disc will include 18 tracks of rare and unreleased mayhem, including a version of Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl" produced by the Butthole Surfers in 1991!

Tickets for the August show are just $20, and in "true Pinchers style" will NOT be handled by Ticketmaster, but instead will go on sale at the CD release party, at warlockpinchers.com after 6 p.m. on Saturday, and, if still available, at Wax Trax Records the following day. This is one for the history books, people.

And the Springs is having a long-awaited reunion of its own this weekend. You know the dudes: Aaron Retka, Jeremy Grobsmith and Daniel (Lee) Harvey (Oswald). Together, and with others, they were the Great Redneck Hope, and then the equally intense Thruster. They came, they played, they conquered. Now they are back, and they are Matterhorn.

Debuting their "loud, and ballsy, and thick" new sound on Saturday, May 15, at the Triple Nickel Tavern, Matterhorn is simply the natural progression of their previous projects.

"It's energetic without being spazzy, which is a nice change," says Retka, who plays bass and sings when need be. (Much of the new material is instrumental.) "The songs are entirely, totally collaborative, which is why we love playing together so much. After a decade of this, we've developed low-grade musical telepathy, so the songwriting has been painless — it just happens, and happens with surprising quickness."

Also playing are Enemyswim and Six Generals.

So there. Smell you later.

Send your great redneck news, photos and hopes to adam@csindy.com.

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