Head to the Paramount Theatre (1621 Glenarm Place, Denver) at 7 tonight to hear awful music performed by really famous people, and to support a great civic organization. The Rock Bottom Remainders (aptly named for musical talent) are comprised of best-selling authors such as Dave Barry, Scott Turow and Amy Tan. In Barry's words: "We play music as well as Metallica writes novels." But, hey, at least they generate money for Denver SCORES, an after-school program that benefits at-risk youth through soccer, poetry and community service programs. Tickets are $29 and available at 520-9090 or ticketmaster.com. For more on the rock-star wannabes, visit rockbottomremainders.com. MS
Most sports fans are born into their allegiances. In Boston, for instance, you're likely to don a Red Sox hat even before your new-baby conehead flattens. But tonight, you have a rare opportunity to choose: Danger Dolls or Candy Snipers? It's Sugar 'n Vice, the Pikes Peak Derby Dames' inaugural roller derby bout. Pick your favorite based on which team's got the most spirit, biggest bruises or cleverest alter egos. (We at the Indy have to support the Dolls and our own Typhoid Mary, aka Kara Luger.) The bout starts at 8 at Tour Inline Arena (3325 Meadow Ridge Drive), with beer and snacks available. Buy tickets for $10 at Skate City (1920 N. Academy Blvd.) or $12 at the door. Call 597-1235 for more info about some history in the making. KW
Head to the Theater of Dreams Arts & Event Center (735 Park St., Castle Rock) at 7:30 tonight to catch Dream Masterz Joe Givan and Carol Massie, performing with "The Great Loudini" and Eddie Goldstein. So they don't spell like civilized humans; that doesn't mean they can't fool you stupid with their award-winning magic tricks and illusions. As frequent Las Vegas and television performers, the Masterz are rumored to be "expertz" (hah, two can play this game!) with extraordinary sleight-of-hand skills. By the time you're home, I'll bet you'll have forgotten that $20 disappeared from your wallet. Call 303/660-6799. MS
I predict that one day, hip-hop groups will have so many members that they'll reach orchestra-like sizes. Each MC can have his or her own duties: One can be in charge of hatin', another can be the one to throw the hook, and someone can just do the "yes, yes, y'alls." And the possibilities for DJs! Anyway, catch five-member hip-hop crew L.A. Symphony, featuring Sharlok Poems, Uno Mas and CookBook. They'll be throwing their hands in the air (possibly like they just don't care) tonight with Deux Process and Samir at the blingalicious Black Sheep (2106 E. Platte Ave.). Tickets are $10 for this all-ages show, which starts at 8, and you can get yours by calling 866/468-7621 or by visiting ticketweb.com. KL
On the tail end of National Poetry Month, The Thin Air Poetry Slam Team is presenting two guest wordsmiths: Arizona's Logan Phillips and Nebraska's John Mark Huscher. Phillips' reading is on Friday at 8 p.m., but you can catch Huscher tonight at 9 in CC's Shove Chapel Sacred Grounds Coffee Shop (1010 N. Nevada Ave.). Huscher, who grew up in Eastern Europe, promotes stark and honest poetry that delves into humanity's condition if his, or any, creative work can be summed up in one sentence. In addition to Huscher's performance, the program will include an open mic and slam. A donation is suggested; contact slam master Karen at 232-5461 for more information. MS
So, you like your girl singers a bit weird, a bit low-key, but with a whole lot of angst. Tori Amos is so last year, kids; try a little Regina Spektor when you're needing a Quirky Piano Chick fix! Spektor was born and raised as a Russian Jew in Moscow, eventually moving at age 9 to the Bronx. Her album Soviet Kitsch was gorgeous and odd and included the verse, "You're reading Fitzgerald, you're reading Hemingway / They're both super smart and drinking in the cafs." C'mon, are you made of stone? You can catch her tonight, touring on her new album, Begin to Hope, with Only Son at Boulder's Fox Theatre (1135 13th St.) at 8:30. The show's all-ages, costs $12, and tickets are available by calling 303/443-3399 or visiting foxtheatre.com. KL
Unless you've already got plans to see a Samoan "fire knife dance" tonight ... you ought to be going to the Manitou Springs Public Library (701 Manitou Ave.). Today, the second day of the library's Diversity Celebration, features John Aona, of The Thorn fame, and other Pacific Island Fire Dancers at 6 and 7:30. Belly dancers from Tajine Alami Moroccan restaurant will perform, and Colorado College students will tell stories and help kids make Japanese paper-fish kites. There are other free crafts, too, and food samples for just $1 each. The three-day celebration starts Monday and ends Friday; for additional info, call the library at 685-5206. KW
This week's 7 Days crew: Kara Luger, Matthew Schniper and Kirk Woundy.