"My goal is to make somebody piss themselves." This, or a variation thereof, was a common statement heard last week backstage at the Demented Journey Haunted House and Tormented Haunted Trail, 4,800 square feet of terror out at Joyrides Family Fun Center (527-2089). Such bladder-stirring aspirations may be shared by many, but only the very best can make young women vomit in horror and grown men fall sobbing to the floor, crouched in the fetal position. Yes, it's a craft -- a gift, even.
There are only a few days left for the following motley companies and devoted troupes to perform their creepy acts, so make the rounds. All are open through Halloween night, including the Joyrides house, and cost $10.
In the Kmart Chapel Hills Parking Lot, you've got Cirque Du Sang ("Circus of Blood" in French, the scariest language). That house has got some kind of freakish clown theme going on. And out by the Dog Track, on the corner of Nevada and Mount View, is The Haunted Village (388-8889). More square feet means more frights, and at MindSeizure (573-4900), you'll find two floors of fear on the southeast corner of Austin Bluffs and Academy, behind NAPA. And last but not least, we have the House of Fear at the Youth Outreach Center, 1801 N. Union Blvd. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Ah, to coast off the success of your now-defunct band, what a glorious advantage. Truthfully, all the little girls say that former subdudes lead singer Tommy Smith's new band is better than the last, and hey, you never know. Smith, who does have a very impressive resume, plays up at Tres Hombres in Woodland Park tonight. Call 687-0625 for details.
Ormao's got some new moves to exhibit. Some are inspired by the works of Henri Matisse, some push the spatial limits, and a few address the pros and cons of current culture, as all modern dance should. The company premieres its original works at the FAC, which, as we all know, stands for the Fine Arts Center, and, as we also know, is located at 30 W. Dale St. Call 634-5583 for tickets. Starts at 8 tonight and tomorrow night.
There are many sides to Terri Clark. Of course, there is the sweet country songstress we all know and love, and there is the Nashville diva that we both admire and fear. You probably didn't know about the third side, though, the side represented on Sing Like Terri Clark, the karaoke collection that will help you become the gingham diva you have always dreamed of becoming. This is Terri as you never knew her -- lyricized. The genuine, multifaceted Terri Clark can be found in the flesh tonight at Cowboy's, 3910 Palmer Park Blvd. Tickets range from $22 to $26. Call 596-1212.
If 12 consecutive hours of music are what it's going to take to give peace a chance, have at it. After 12 hours of pickin' and grinnin', ain't nobody got the energy left to be violent anyway. Regional jam/folk/rock talent such as Running with Sally, Boondoggle, Second Street Review, Earl, Malcolm Lucard, Dan Lehman and The Old Dog Band play from noon to midnight in the Smokebrush Cabaret, 235 S. Nevada Ave. Jam for Peace costs $10 at the door, and the money goes to the Arab-American Civil Rights League, Red Cross, Red Crescent, Southern Poverty Law Center and other groups that promote tolerance. For details, call 633-1080.
Not much shakin'. There are some art exhibitions closing today, couple bands up in Denver in Boulder. I say just don't even bother to get up: sleep through until Tuesday.
30Tuesday Skiing and environmentalism and mountain culture, oh my! The Telluride Mountain Film Tour has been combining the best field footage of all us crunchy Colorado mountain people in our own habitats for 23 years now. The much-celebrated tour will be screened at 7:30 in Colorado College's Packard Hall. It's free. Call 389-6607.
Yeah, can I get a wit'ness for Halloween! Testify! Halloween is by far the best holiday -- all candy, no emotional pressure, and by far the most reasonable excuse for letting that inner drag star shine at work. Dress up, man, dress up!
As far as holiday events, there's just too much going on today to mention it all here. Check Playing Around on page 36 to find out who's playing where, and The Listings, which begin on page 39, include a number of dances, special events and kids' activities. Of special note is the Treak-or-Treaters Photography by artist/photographer Anne Lennox at the BAC, 513 Manitou Ave. Lennox documents unique costumes for her Halloween series, and the first 50 treak-or-treaters in the most outstanding costumes will receive a free 4 x 6 color shot of themselves. Lennox will be there from 3 to 7 p.m. Call 685-1861 for details.