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SPANK! 

When: Sun., April 7, 6 p.m. 2013
Price: $33-$43

The woman in Fifty Shades of Grey has an "inner goddess" interrupting her interior monologues so annoyingly often, it's amazing the reader can stay focused long enough to masturbate. Luckily, that conundrum won't even be an option at SPANK!, the musical parody of the best-selling erotic reinterpretation of the best-selling series about the physically and emotionally abusive relationship between a vampire and a high-schooler. No, SPANK! — debuting tonight at 6 at the Pikes Peak Center (190 S. Cascade Ave., pikespeakcenter.com) — promises to be full of allusions to the lighter sides of sadomasochism: "Your inner goddess will be laughing out loud," reads the release. Tickets start at $33. — Bryce Crawford

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