Add up the numbers of your answers and check score at end.
I'm aware of globalization's affect on me because:
1. I can't pronounce my car.
2. I bought a cell phone with an international plan.
3. My third grader can make bail for me in six languages.
A really good restaurant has:
1. An extensive imported wine list.
I hate global because:
1. I can't understand a single word of what the maid is saying.
2. I can't understand a single word of what the bartender is saying.
3. I can't understand a single word of what the boss is saying.
In my experience, jet lag is:
1. An excuse relatives use to get me to wait on them hand and foot while visiting.
2. An occupational hazard.
3. A welcome diversion from the chronic insomnia.
In order to relax, I:
1. Pore through brochures featuring travel to exotic locations.
2. Watch camcorder footage from previous trips to exotic locations.
3. Make goo-goo noises to my pets from public phones in hotel lobbies of exotic locations.
To deal with time zone differences, I:
1. Usually ask, "what time is it there?"
2. Feign ignorance.
3. Wear twenty four watches.
The best part of leaving the US on business is:
1. Free drink privileges on international flights.
2. Frequent flyer upgrades to business class.
3. Not having to listen to George W. Bush explain his environmental policies.
The worst part of leaving the U.S. on business is:
1. The hangovers after abusing free drink privileges on international flights.
2. Last row, middle seat, coach on corporate coupons which means no frequent flyer mileage.
3. Having to explain George W. Bush's environmental policies.
1. Is great for making travel reservations as long as you can leave at midnight on a Tuesday and return within 18 hours.
2. Is as convenient as swimming while wearing chain mail in a tar pit.
3. Means spam in alphabets I can't even recognize.
A person willing to do my job for 30 an hour:
1. Probably lives in Asia.
2. Probably lives in Mexico.
3. Probably lives next door.
SCORE 10 - 15.
You are aware of what day of the week tomorrow will be. You not only arranged your child's birthday party, you knew all the names of the other kids attending. Sometimes it seems the car can find its own way home from the mall. You talk to a family member twice a day and can usually finish up some chores while doing it. You've seen The Lion King 132 times. When leaving on a business trip, the whole family troups down to the gate to see you off.
SCORE 16 - 20.
It always seems like Monday, except on Mondays when is seems like Saturday. You belong to a Katie Curic withdrawal support group. The kids mimic your ritual complaints about the quality of the local Thai restaurant's Spring Rolls. The postman, pharmacist and your husband keep getting your first name wrong. Your most valued possession is your collection of snow globes. When leaving on a business trip you get dropped off with a kiss in the white zone.
SCORE 21 - 25.
Your wake up calls originate from Stockholm. Last week you got lost on the way to the grocery store again. You can't remember if your favorite television show airs on ABC, the BBC or the Spice Channel. Both friends and family recognize your presents as the ones wrapped in plastic bags from airport gift shops. You've seen the same episode of King of Queens on 3 different continents. When leaving on a business trip, your youngest yells from the den, "Cab's here!"
SCORE 26 - 30.
The whole household runs on Greenwich Mean Time. A neighbor called the cops the night you tried to clean out the garage. You constantly flush the toilet to figure out which hemisphere you're in. Your favorite restaurant is a little sushi bar at Tokyo's Narita airport. Every time you answer the phone your mother emits a startled "oh". When leaving on a business trip, the shuttle driver picks up an Egg McMuffin for the two of you to share.
Will Durst is host of PBS' Livelyhood which will air nationally August 31 and September 7 with new episodes called "Planet Work."
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