1. Free cookies and juice!
2. Cuts down risk of head exploding due to excess blood, anger and high pressure.
3. Allows one to get "wicked hammered" immediately following donation.
4. Offers only chic use of tourniquet, outside of heroin use or snakebite treatment.
5. Provides the opportunity to reflect and recall if one has had sex with a gay man since 1977.
Says who? Matthew Schniper,
Indy calendars editor.