Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Top five
... reasons you may miss the rapture
1. That whole "mark of the beast" thing on your forehead.
2. Jesus might interpret your "If this van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'" sticker literally.
3. You misread the Rapture Index (the "Dow Jones Industrial Average of end-time activity") at raptureready.com, thinking that 181 was a good "prophetic speedometer" reading.
4. Couldn't be bothered to miss 50-cent wing night at Hooters.
5. Hey, if being left behind was good enough for Kirk Cameron, then it's good enough for me!
Says who? Indy calendars editor Matthew Schniper.
