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Weird Stuff 

...that made it into our mailbox this year

Welcome to our world, where the unexpected is expected, where we open the mail every day prepared to laugh, groan or scratch our heads.

The myriad letters, packages, faxes, phone calls and e-mails we get each week include plenty of wacky ideas, crazy inventions, bad comics and downright bizarre promotions. The following is just a sampling of the stranger communiqu's we've received over the past year. Quotes from written materials, such as letters and press releases, appear as received by the Independent.

Attention-grabbing opener

Gleaned from a cover letter by someone seeking employment at the newspaper:

"Dear Sir or Madam:

Have you ever been hit by a car?"

Where are they now?

Editor Cara DeGette received the following letter from a state prisoner and apparent fan:

OCTOBER 21

CARA --

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A GUEST WRITER (ME) DO SOME SCINTILLATING, JUICY FRUIT, EGREGIOUS, INSIGHTFUL FIRST EYE OPENING EXPOSE ACCOUNTS OF LIFE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF CORRUPTION?

YOU REMEMBER ME, [COLORADO SPRINGS] CITY COUNCIL CANDIDATE '99 WHEN YOU ERRONEOUSLY REPORTED I DIDN'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE AND CRIMINAL RECORD. (THAT WAS RIGHT) OH HECK THAT WAS NOTHING --

ARE YOU STILL IN BUSINESS? ARE YOU STILL WRITING? ALWAYS (OK THAT'S A LIE) ENJOYED YOUR WRITING STYLE, NO FOOPAHS FOR YOU. I FOLLOW YOUR SISTER'S VOTES IN THE LEGISLATURE. LOVE THEM DEMOCRATS! LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE PAPER IS KAPUT. KNOW ANYONE INTERESTED?

I SEE MINISERIES IN THE FUTURE $ $ $

CONRAD J. CZAJKOWSKI #124677/UNIT 5 "THE HOLE"

STERLING CORRECTIONAL FACILITY/ P.O. BOX 6000/ STERLING, CO 80751

  • ...that made it into our mailbox this year

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