The myriad letters, packages, faxes, phone calls and e-mails we get each week include plenty of wacky ideas, crazy inventions, bad comics and downright bizarre promotions. The following is just a sampling of the stranger communiqu's we've received over the past year. Quotes from written materials, such as letters and press releases, appear as received by the Independent.
Gleaned from a cover letter by someone seeking employment at the newspaper:
"Dear Sir or Madam:
Have you ever been hit by a car?"
Where are they now?
Editor Cara DeGette received the following letter from a state prisoner and apparent fan:
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A GUEST WRITER (ME) DO SOME SCINTILLATING, JUICY FRUIT, EGREGIOUS, INSIGHTFUL FIRST EYE OPENING EXPOSE ACCOUNTS OF LIFE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF CORRUPTION?
YOU REMEMBER ME, [COLORADO SPRINGS] CITY COUNCIL CANDIDATE '99 WHEN YOU ERRONEOUSLY REPORTED I DIDN'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE AND CRIMINAL RECORD. (THAT WAS RIGHT) OH HECK THAT WAS NOTHING --
ARE YOU STILL IN BUSINESS? ARE YOU STILL WRITING? ALWAYS (OK THAT'S A LIE) ENJOYED YOUR WRITING STYLE, NO FOOPAHS FOR YOU. I FOLLOW YOUR SISTER'S VOTES IN THE LEGISLATURE. LOVE THEM DEMOCRATS! LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE PAPER IS KAPUT. KNOW ANYONE INTERESTED?
I SEE MINISERIES IN THE FUTURE $ $ $
CONRAD J. CZAJKOWSKI #124677/UNIT 5 "THE HOLE"
STERLING CORRECTIONAL FACILITY/ P.O. BOX 6000/ STERLING, CO 80751
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