The Gardener Directed by James H. Kay Subversive Cinema Mixing '70s arthouse didactics with a determined grindhouse veneer, this long-lost, recently rediscovered film was the first non-Warhol/Factory movie for muscle- bound gay icon Joe Dallesandro. I had been in search of it for years to no avail. Stills I had seen carried a bizarre, haunting quality that left a bothersome, dreamlike feeling inside me. After finally viewing the film, that feeling increased tenfold. Using very little dialogue, Dallesandro delivers a beautifully creepy performance as the titular gardener, whose plants seduce and kill in a most unsettling, hyper-subtle way; much like the film, they leave an indelible, nightmarish impression. Modern MTV horror fans will be bored — there's no flash and glam — but fans of true giallo macabre will be in a green heaven. — Louis Fowler

LolliLove Directed by Jenna Fischer Troma Films The best — smartest, funniest, most satirically scathing — film of the year (so far) won't be at any local theater anytime soon. Hell, it might even be hard to find at Blockbuster. But it's worth the search. Writer and director Jenna Fischer (Pam on NBC's "The Office") co-stars with her real-life husband, writer-director James Gunn (Dawn of the Dead, the upcoming Slither) as a "wealthy couple" in L.A. who want to give back to the community by passing out lollipops with inspirational wrappers to the local hobos. Shot mockumentary-style, LolliLove is a bitterly hilarious take on holier-than-thou celebs and camera- hogs. It should be required viewing for those who do good only during the holidays. — Louis Fowler

Womens Prison Massacre Directed by Bruno Mattei Retro Shock-O-Rama Italian sleazoid staple Emanuelle, after dealing with cannibals in New Guinea and a snuff movie ring in America, finds herself framed and held in a scuzzy women's prison, where constant catfights are on the menu. When a character threatens to "bite the nipples off" another character, you know this ain't no Shawshank Redemption. Cult director Bruno Mattei throws in a band of sadistic male prisoners to torture the captive women, but, as with similar films, these gals don't take no guff, and castration becomes the word of the day. Women's Prison Massacre may not be as gory or graphic as other Italian women- in-prison titles, but its willingness to wallow in its own sleazy atmosphere is incentive enough. — Louis Fowler