Thursday, March 1, 2012

Bonus CineFiles: The Rebound, The Apartment, and Storage Wars: Volume Two!

Posted By on Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM

Most weeks, I review more DVDs than the Indy can fit into print. You can look for extra write-ups here, on the IndyBlog.

The Rebound (R) (Blu-Ray)
20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

First of all, the good news: Yes, Catherine Zeta-Jones is still alive, and more transcendently beautiful than ever before. Thankfully, her marriage to leathery sex-addict Michael Douglas hasn’t completely forced her into obscurity. So, while you take a moment to celebrate, here’s the bad news: Her newest flick, The Rebound, is a direct-to-DVD rom-com where not only does she have to share the screen with that one guy from The Hangover that no one really cares about, but has to do so in a very paint-by-numbers date movie that makes her previous rom-com, No Reservations, look like Annie Hall in comparison. Jones is soccer mom Sandy, who catches her slimy hubby screwing around. She divorces him, moves to the wacky big city, and immediately falls for a 25-year-old barista with a creepy magnetism to children. Really creepy. I get what director Bart Freundlich was trying to do, but it’s just far too contrived and fraudulent to pull it off.

The Apartment (NR) (Blu-Ray)
MGM/20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Billy Wilder was one of the most overrated directors of the ’50s and ’60s, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a soft spot in my heart for the Academy Award-winning film The Apartment. Every decade has that one movie that completely tells the bitter truth about the dynamics of losers who dare to fall in love; in the ’50s it was Marty, in the ’70s it was Annie Hall. This was the one for the ’60s. Jack Lemmon is put-upon “schnook” C.C. Baxter, a lonely up-and-coming insurance man who loans out his titular apartment to all his philandering bosses and their quickie rendezvous. When he falls in love with the quirky elevator girl (Shirley MacLaine), he’s c-blocked by his sleazy boss (Fred MacMurray) who wines and dines her with promises of leaving his wife. He doesn’t, she attempts suicide, and C.C. is left to clean up the mess. The Apartment is a classic movie that's well worth the security deposit.

Storage Wars: Volume Two (NR)

Yeaaaaaaaaeeeeep! The best reality show on television, Storage Wars, has finally released a Volume 2 collection of the insanely entertaining series’ most recent episodes on DVD, and not a moment too soon for me. I don’t have cable. I can’t even pick up regular TV. I rely on DVDs for my television shows. Justified, Sons of Anarchy, Mad Men — you know, all the critically acclaimed, classy stuff. I have to wait a year between story arcs. But I don’t miss them. I don’t crave them. I can wait it out, no problem and enjoy them when they get here. But it’s different with Storage Wars. Throughout the year, I wonder what the different characters are doing. I want to know if Dave Hester is still a dick. I want to know if Brandi and Jerrod have gotten a divorce. I want to know if Darrell has found a melanoma yet. And, most of all, I want to know if Barry Weiss will adopt me as his son. Volume 2 answers all those questions and more, but now I just want Volume 3 all the more.

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