Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Local GOP to bring in the ever-surreal Herman Cain for Lincoln Day dinner

Posted By on Wed, Apr 17, 2013 at 3:46 PM

If, like me, you've spent the entire workweek staring out the window at this abomination of springtime, you too may have come to an existential crossroads. You might feel that the universe is trying to tell you something.

Or you might feel failed Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain is trying — trying — to tell you something. Tell me what it is Herman Cain.

Because, as the great poet Donna Summers once proffered: "Life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.

So true, Summers. 'Cause it is tough, 'cause there is a lot on the line. And with all that's on the line, there are questions that come: big questions; hard questions. Questions like, "Who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan?"

And, for that matter, "How do you say 'delicious' in Cuban?"

Haha. It's funny where the mind goes.

The world can be so confusing sometimes. So many things twirling around in our heads. I, as well, have wondered on many occasions: "OK, Libya. President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gadhafi. I just wanted to make sure we're talking about the same thing before I say, 'Yes, I agreed' or 'No I didn't agree.' I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — nope, that's a different one. I gotta go back and see. I got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me that I agree or not disagree with Obama?"

And yet, there are some things I know for certain. Real things. Hard truths that keep me going.

Like this old chestnut: "The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is ... Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance ... A manly man don't want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza."

And who wouldn't agree that, "We need a leader, not a reader." I mean, amirite?

Well, as we sit here, waiting for a warm, conservative evening in June, I will leave you with this. It's a mantra, of sorts, to repeat when the weather is too slushy and those questions just get too hard: 9-9-9.

Herman Cain

(Thanks for the aggregation, and the links, The Week.)

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