Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Sky Sox could be renamed for edible testicles and you've got to be kidding us

Posted By on Wed, Jul 18, 2018 at 4:42 PM

click image Batter up! ... There's a 1-in-5 chance that the Springs' new minor league baseball team will be named for testicles. What would the team's logo and mascot look like? - PERETZ PARTENSKY / FLICKR
  • Peretz Partensky / Flickr
  • Batter up! ... There's a 1-in-5 chance that the Springs' new minor league baseball team will be named for testicles. What would the team's logo and mascot look like?

Four years ago, my brother, who lives in El Paso, Texas, was beside himself with disgust when the minor league baseball team there changed its name from the Diablos, which is very cool, to the Chihuahuas.

I thought at the time, "That's the worst name I could possibly think of for a baseball team."

Until now.

The Sky Sox, a very cool name for a baseball team, especially one from a city that sits at an elevation of 6,000 feet, has narrowed suggestions for changing the name to five finalists.

All I can say is: "Are you kidding me"?

Here are the finalists in alphabetical order, according to a news release:

Colorado Springs Happy Campers
The Happy Campers: celebrates Colorado Springs' positive attitude and our love of nature, camping and all things outdoors.

Colorado Springs Lamb Chops
This name is a nod to the World Famous Colorado Lamb. We've got the chops!

Colorado Springs Punchy Pikas
A small but fierce critter that calls Pikes Peak home, known for its iconic forceful bark.

Colorado Springs Throttle Jockeys
This is a tribute to our brave pilots who train and call Colorado Springs home.

Rocky Mountain Oysters
"It's a classic Minor League Baseball name in the making, this original cowboy fare has already been made famous at Colorado fairs, festivals and baseball games," the news release states.

And here's where you can vote through August 1.

Our take:

Happy Campers — yawn.

Lamb chops? That name certainly would strike fear in the hearts of their opponents. NOPE.

Punchy Pikas? Too cute, but not really.

Throttle Jockeys — um, don't look it up on the Urban Dictionary. Seriously, don't.

And lastly, do we really want our baseball team named for testicles? We realize that baseball is an all-male sport, but testicles? Geez. It just opens every mention up to "ball" jokes, leaving every pervert with their mind in the gutter to make fly-ball, foul-ball, ground-ball comments and so on.

Don't even get us started talking about how "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" will become adulterated.

Is it too late to head back to the drawing board?

In any event, after this season, the team moves from Triple A status to pioneer league, meaning the season is shortened, and the talent is lower on the totem pole of minor league baseball.

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