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They Call Me Bruce?: 25th Anniversary Edition (PG)

Liberation Entertainment

Of all the movies to memorialize with a 25th anniversary special edition, They Call Me Bruce? was the last I expected. All of us who grew up in the early '80s remember this playing nonstop on HBO, and then seeing its insanely politically incorrect humor re-enacted on the school playground the next day. Comedian Johnny Yune is a Bruce Lee fan who cooks for the Mafia, and in the process, becomes something of an accidental Kung Fu hero. Duped into delivering cocaine for the dons, he embarks on a cross-country trip in which every stereotype from Texas rednecks to jive-talking gang members is comically represented. While the plot is rote, laughter comes from Yune's self-deprecating, Rodney Dangerfield-esque one-liners that, even in this jaded age, will still have you laughing out loud. — Louis Fowler

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Knowing (PG-13)

Summit Entertainment

If you can stomach the disaster porn aspect — man, does director Alex Proyas love planes exploding and humans and animals catching fire! — then this preposterous, pseudo-religious, semi-sci-fi glob of self-important tripe is almost worth seeing for its ridiculousness. Imagine if the guys who wrote those apocalyptic Left Behind fantasies concocted the worst episode ever of The X-Files, and you might approach the alternately dull and unintentionally hilarious tale of Nicolas Cage, astrophysicist(!), his son (the cute-as-a-button and impressively monikered Chandler Canterbury) and the numerological prophecies they stumble across. It's all meant to imply everything happens for a reason and We Are Being Watched Over. More creepy than comforting. Bonus material includes commentary by Proyas, making-of featurettes and more. — MaryAnn Johanson

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Header (NR)

Synapse Films

Even though this is probably the most serious portrayal of antisocial rednecks since, well, Deliverance, I had to turn Header off after about 30 minutes because the film took such an utterly disturbing, brutal turn that I had to pause just to absorb what the hell was going on. Let's just say it was something that I could never tell you in a family newspaper, or this newspaper, and it makes the most famous scene in Deliverance look like an act of pure love. What happens in Header should stay in Header. That being said, the acting, especially the portrayals of the chilling backwoods folk, is of an amazing caliber, with the men and women avoiding caricature and almost creating a Nell-like language. But, even then, I don't know who I could recommend this to, besides, say, serial killer Henry Lee Lucas. And I think he's dead. — Louis Fowler

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The Girls Next Door: Season Five (NR)

20th Century Fox Home Entertainment

Season No. 5 was the last of The Girls Next Door, and, I gotta say, I'm ashamed to live in a country that aired it for so long. For those who don't know, the Girls are a trio of blondes who are solely famous for bedding down with Playboy magnate and octogenarian Hugh Hefner. That's it. At least Paris Hilton has cut a record, am I right? In this season, the girls party in New Orleans, party in Aspen, party in Las Vegas, party at the Kentucky Derby ... usually finding a way to flash some skin while they do it. What's really funny is, in the final episode, they talk about how done they are with the party lifestyle and how much they've "grown up," after three discs of telling us otherwise. Poor Hef ... really! You know he's going to die alone, never having known real love, right? — Louis Fowler


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