Grandmas back! 

Before we get to my grandma, let me first make a correction and an apology. In my column on October 31, I mistakenly announced that the Smokebrush Theater was sold to the Colorado Springs Conservatory. The deal, in fact, fell through at the last minute and the Smokebrush Theater is still for sale.

And now for another review by my grandma. As you may recall, several months ago she did a bang-up job giving her candid opinion of several new hip-hop CDs. Since so many people seem to be so completely baffled by much of the art in the Lateral Thinking exhibition currently on display at the Fine Arts Center, I decided to see what she thought. While her vision isn't exactly 20/20 (she's blind in one eye and has macular degeneration in the other), I did my best to describe what she couldn't see.

"Manifest Destiny" by Lisa Yuskavage

Gram: That looks spiritual... pretty.
Me: What do you think of the naked girl in the corner?
Gram: I didn't even see her squatting down there. Why would someone spiritual hide a naked girl under her dress. Unless maybe she needs help.
Me: It's actually sort of a menacing column, not a dress.
Gram: Oh.

"Fred" by Charles Long

Gram: Pretty Mod. Quite imaginative.
Me: Gram, you're not supposed to touch the artwork.
Gram: Oh.

"To the Police" by Beattie and Davidson

Gram: This looks like a train. It almost looks like Smokey the Bear is driving it. It's kind of cute. Very modern.
Me: The part that you think is Smokey the Bear is actually a boom box and then the train part is a bunch of black hoses.
Gram: Hmm.

"Twist" by Martin Kersels

Gram: What is it?
Me: It's a shoe hanging by a bunch of rubber bands spinning around on the floor.
Gram: Strange. Very strange. It's a one-legged man in Georgia doing the clog!

"Head with Flowers" by Fred Tomaselli

Gram: It'd make a beautiful print if they made it into fabric.
Me: What do you think of the fact that he used all these marijuana leaves.
Gram: I like the design, so I don't think it's a problem. Maybe he's saying the marijuana gave him the inspiration to do the collage!

"Navy Seals" by Vanessa Beecroft

Gram: Mmmm. Very attractive young men.

"Last Supper" by Vik Muniz

Me: This is a rendering of the Last Supper in chocolate. He licked it off after he took this photo.
Gram: I think he must've been smoking a lot of marijuana ... It's not very respectful of Jesus.

"1/2 Series" by Zhang Huan

Gram: What is that on him? A robe?
Me: That's a rack of pork ribs.
Gram: Well, for heaven's sake. I think it's way out.

"Don't Look at Me" by Tony Oursler

Gram: What's going on?
Me: It's a face being projected onto a doll under a toppled chair.
Gram: I think I'd need to have two or three drinks before I looked at that. But it's pretty original though.

Grandma's overall summary of the show: "I think there's a lot of originality, but not a lot of beauty. But I think the mind is beautiful that could create all this. Except I don't like the chocolate Last Supper."

Well put, Gram. Thanks.

-- nblack@csindy.com


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