What follows is a recent hypothetical conversation between a market analyst and sales executive at Astralwerks Records.
Sales executive: So, what you got for me? Hot Chip?
(Plays CD, listens for several minutes.)
What's going on here? Nothing's happening. It's just a bunch of keyboard nonsense. I suppose this is supposed to be "cheesy."
Market analyst: And in the best way! This is a band kind of that's just up for doin' whatever! They're not afraid to be nerds. They're Ween-like! Or, or DFA! Am I right? I mean, the James Murphy parallels are irrefutable. The hip anti-dance dance-rockers have to be getting tired of LCD Soundsystem by now, anyway.
SE: (Ignoring analyst, reading song list.) This song is called "The Beach Party"? What's that, irony? Who would want to go to this beach party? That'd be one damn empty beach!
(Laughs, skips track; hears ebonic lyrics.)
Oh, my word. Not another bunch of tongue-in-cheek white boys talking black. Dynamite Hack did that already, six years ago, and better. Not to mention Jonathan Coulton's cover of "Baby Got Back." What's next, "-izzle" suffixes? I'm sure that's right up their alley.
(Hears falsetto "mothafuckas"; skips several tracks.)
MA: Whoa, whoa! You're just skipping over references to Stevie Wonder, Prince, Kraft dinners and high rollin'! Ha, they do that, too "sing" about high rollin'! Come on, high rollin'! They're dweebs! It's hilarious!
SE: These insults of songs go on forever. This is like dork lounge. The D&D afterparty i.e., naptime.
MA: They're, they're wearing their influences on their sleeves! (Desperate now.) It's, ah ... it's quirky! Kooky! Uh, zany!
SE: Go on.
MA: (Pauses.) Well, thing is, we've got nothing else.
SE: (Sighs.) All right. Publish it. Whatever.
capsule
Hot Chip with Stereolab
Gothic Theatre
3263 S. Broadway, Englewood
Thursday, March 9, 9 p.m.
Tickets: $16, all ages;
visit nipp.com.
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