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Jack White’s good for band practice or obsessing on mortality 

click to enlarge BAYNARD WOODS
  • Baynard Woods

I remember thinking, when I was young, that older people seemed so befuddled all the time. And to a young person, the mid-to-late 40s where I now find myself, was definitely old af. Now I understand the source of that befuddlement: We are all marveling at the breakneck passage of time. When I was a kid, especially in school, time seemed to advance in such a painfully slow, miserable fashion, but then something happened, a switch was flipped, and both days and years now zoom by. And, as we race forward in time, we are really racing backward, to join everything that has come and gone, risen and passed away, before us, into oblivion. As we speed into the future, we become the past.

I was thinking about this when I picked up a strain called Jack White. It made me recall seeing The White Stripes, the band of Jack White the musician, not the bud, in Pittsburgh sometime between 2000 and 2002. Even if we place it at the latest end of that and make it 2002, that was 18 years ago. That is as big a distance as exists between 1984 and 2002. Or between Elvis Presley’s first single “That’s All Right” and Elton John’s “Rocket Man,” one of the big hits the year I was born. It’s just crazy and I know that the next time I blink, I’ll be dying wondering what happened to it all and then I will be dead and time will pass infinitely evermore, rolling and rolling.
For someone like White, who has continued to be relevant, but never quite as important as he was as a very young man, it must feel even stranger to think back on those early aughts shows when he was credited with reinventing rock ‘n’ roll and whatever kind of hooey we in the press passed around. But at least he has a weed strain named, sort of, after him.

Some places call this strain Jacky White and, in various locales the name is applied to a variety of different but closely related strains. Most generally, the name refers to a potent and crispy cross between White Widow and Jack Herer, resulting in a high-octane Sativa that can help with productivity and creativity, but can also lead to hyper-active and yet nostalgic contemplation about death and such (see above).

It is a good all-around type of strain, perfect for band practice or even just fucking around on a guitar. Jack White has that kind of focus — obsessing on the groove, perhaps, rather than the details. Or on something that is fun but not necessarily useful or remunerative. Which is kind of the way weed should be.

The buds have a dense, hard-packed quality and they are so white with crystals that I’d almost venture to call them snowballs. But when you dig your nails in and break them open, the flowers have a pretty rare nose — it’s like mango with a touch of cantaloupe and overripe fig. A solid strain, all around. Like The White Stripes, the Jack White strain doesn’t have too many elements fucking around and muddying it up.

Strength: 8
Nose: Mango and cantaloupe and fig in the back of a station wagon in 1976
Euphoria: 8
Existential Dread: 6
Freaking Out When A Crazy Person Approaches You: 4
Drink Pairing: Jack Daniels
Music Pairing: “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground” by The White Stripes
Rating: 8

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