Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

Mr. Roger K. Deromedi

Chief Executive Officer

Kraft Foods Inc.

Three Lakes Drive

Northfield, IL 60093-2753

Dear Mr. Deromedi:

I'm delighted to see the Kool-Aid Man has finally decided to wear pants. It's about time.

I always found it unsettling how, in his fervor to please children, Mr. Kool-Aid would willingly destroy private property. Couple this with his emphasis on fruity flavors, and the agenda was quite clear.

Now that he's wearing pants, I can let the fruit thing slide. I don't suppose we could put a shirt on him, though?

Moving forward, you wouldn't happen to know anyone at Frito-Lay? Their Chester Cheetah is promoting a decadent lifestyle I find as objectionable as John Kerry's.

Thanks so much for your help.


Kenneth H. Cleaver

This letter was sent to several key members of Kraft's executive team.

Read the Response.


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