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Kenneth Cleaver 

Consumer Correspondent

September 29, 2005

Ms. Vicki Langan

Chief Operating Officer

Supercuts

The Regis Corporation

7201 Metro Boulevard

Minneapolis, MN 55439

Dear Ms. Langan:

I appreciate Supercuts' services, but I'm having a problem. The woman who cuts my hair will NOT SHUT UP.

Look, I'm as chatty as the next guy, but can this woman yap. About her boyfriend, her dog, her parking space. (Her parking space!) Not helping matters is the quality of her voice, which can pierce through Kevlar until it awakens your slumbering soul.

Wanna know what my slumbering soul says? SHUT UP!

I thought I'd endured some extreme banality. I once shared an apartment with a guy from Indiana. But this is too much. The problem is that this woman can cut some hair. And I don't want to alienate the person cutting my hair. That's bad policy.

I'm sure your employees have more to complain about than I do. There probably are plenty of folks who think that because they're paying customers, they have the right to NOT SHUT UP. But I'm not one them. I SHUT UP. I might make small talk, but I know people don't care about my shopping patterns or sleep schedule. I am not a fount of national fascination, like Lindsay Lohan.

Sadly, I'm not sure what a good solution might be. Perhaps you could tell your employees to talk quietly, or hire more introverts? Or maybe offer earplugs to customers?

I don't know. What do you think?

Sincerely,

Kenneth Cleaver

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