Wasting away in Margaritaville

I'm still laughing about Lady Mondegreen and Cara DeGette's Public Eye last week.

Your citations of misunderstood lyrics were an antidote to the Board of County Commissioners' meeting last Thursday -- talk about misunderstood lyrics! As one of the speakers addressing the commissioners said in reference to voting down the proposed new jail, "What part of 'no' didn't you understand?"

Anyway, I remember a couple of skewed lyrics to add to your collection. In the Jimmy Buffet song about Margaritaville, I heard the line about "looking for my last shaker of salt" as a diabetic's death wish, "Looking for my last sugar assault."

And as a child, many moons ago, the hymn "Bringing in the Sheaves" became to my 5-year-old ears "Bringing in the Sheets." Made sense to me -- my mother brought in the sheets every Monday after the laundry dried on the outdoor clothesline.

And I'm sure you've heard about "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear."

Humor is good. Thank you.

-- Barbara Martin

Colorado Springs

I am Commissioner-Man

I am invincible. I am omnipotent. I take from the people to build mighty edifices erected to my memory. I secret funds for my personal agenda and destroy organizations that would care for the health of those least able to take care of themselves.

I ignore the will of the people who have cast their vote against my desires and I throw temper tantrums when they don't give me what I want. I become enraged when they laugh at me for my stupid observations. I ignore the wishes of entities with whom I must co-exist. It's my way or the highway (or no highway), Bub. I do not have to listen to the people. I am omnipotent.

Who am I? Why, I am "County Commissioner Man"! Mighty slayer of the democratic process; destroyer of the downtrodden; champion of the rich and powerful. I am unstoppable.

I can do what I want, say what I want, be paid to drive wherever I want -- to hell with the people.

Why? Because I am protected by the sacred "R" emblazoned upon my chest. No matter what I do, I will be elected. I will be re-elected. I will keep my political plum and, when my time expires in this place, I will be given another overpaid position to support my excesses. The sacred "R" protects me.

It blinds the people to my actions. It induces forgetfulness. They are mine.

I am invincible.

There is but one thing that can stop me. Lurking in the wings is the destroyer of avarice, greed and abuse of power.

Its name? Recall Election.

-- Frank Whitworth

Colorado Springs

Staff changes

This letter is response to Cara DeGette's Nov. 14 Public Eye, in which she details how the City of Colorado Springs sued the Independent after the director of Human Resources detained reporter John Dicker and seized his notebook.

This is just what I'd expect from the people running this town. Why don't we outsource the human relations department, and staff it with the likes of Gazette advertorial writer Ed Bircham, Focus on the Family president Dr. Dobson and Colorado for Family Values founder Will Perkins?

Mike McKee, who spends all his time protesting gays and the Independent, of course could provide the security.

While we're at it, why don't we rename the Colorado Springs Police Department's Internal Affairs department The Gestapo, and the police department the SS?

We could even make City Councilwoman Judy Noyes the Minister of Propaganda!!!!

-- Michael Allison


Looking for the real Hightower

Interesting how Jim Hightower changes his anti-business, populist rhetoric when it suits his purpose (which is primarily Bush-bashing).

His Nov. 7 column, "Earth to Washington," bemoans the fact that "our so-called economy" is in the tank, resulting in lost jobs, deflated stock markets, and (gasp!) sagging corporate profits. He wants the White House and Congress to "do something" about this situation, when, in point of fact, Mr. Hightower should know that business cycles are inevitable and the current slump, however painful, will simply have to run its course.

His reference to Mr. Bush as "supposedly our nation's top economic leader" (actually, Alan Greenspan) is a belated attempt to saddle the president with the hangover of the Go-Go '90s, a vestige of the Clinton years. His newly discovered concern about corporate woes and lackluster economic performance makes him sound very nearly conservative and begs the question: Will the real Jim Hightower please stand up?

-- Daryl K. Hykel

Colorado Springs

Brainwashed by propaganda

Two recent letters in the Indy ("War? Hell, yes" and "Moaners and Whiners," Nov. 14) encapsulate the success of the Bushies' war propaganda and marketing effort in brainwashing susceptible folk.

As is well known, the whole pre-emptive Iraq war drumbeat was begun as a "new product" to be marketed to American mass information consumers. To this end, a multimillion-dollar PR blitz was commenced using taxpayer dollars and appears to have worked among the weaker minded.

What we do know, when the crappola and spin are removed, is that this promotion of the war card is not about national security. If it were, then North Korea would be the nation targeted since they pose the much more serious and immediate threat. They actually have nukes.

No, it is rather about oil (Bush and Cheney are former oilmen), distracting voter attention and projecting American imperial power in the Middle East.

The ways in which this warmongering is base and degenerative of the principles enshrined in the Constitution are too numerous to list. What is clear is that this nation is teetering on the brink of renewed recession -- while unemployment is rising along with child poverty rates, home foreclosures and lack of affordable health insurance. Meanwhile, state deficits are exploding and public services like Medicaid are sliced because of it.

Currently, the most conservative White House estimates put the cost of this blasphemous, unjustified aggression at $200 billion. That's assuming it's a short effort with minimal Iraqi resistance. The total cost could exceed $1.7 trillion. Are Americans really stupid enough to support such blatant squandering of their resources in order to satiate the oil lust of the likes of Bush and Cheney?

The White House asserts it's after one man, but the fact is they'll kill thousands by long-distance bombing to get him. Meanwhile the only presumed winner in this will be Osama bin Laden, who will use the deaths and carnage to enrage millions in the powder keg Middle East.

-- Phil Stahl

Colorado Springs

A far cry from squids

I read the Indy every week, most of the time, from cover to cover. I'm proud to be an Indy reader ... but (for the first time ever!) I was horrified by something I read in the Oct. 17 issue.

I realize you print a few syndicated columns -- like Free Will Astrology and Stranger Than Fiction. Sooo, I wonder if you ever read them prior to layout and printing. OK, I know that Stranger Than Fiction is supposed to reflect the twisted, stupid and (black) humorous side of humanity's steps and missteps. Sooo, again, I don't understand how the "Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child" piece could have made it into the column, or for that matter, how Mr. Sweet could have thought to write it! How could anyone think that the actions of the caseworker who taped up a child would read as anything but horrifying! And a far cry from a neighboring story about finding giant squids ... .

To make light of that incident truly is a twisted view of humanity. (Then, of course, haven't we found ourselves glued to the TV to get all the gory details about the D.C. sniper?)

Our children are the precious hope for the future and need to be protected. The story was not humorous, amusing or even the slightest bit laughable -- only humiliating for Mr. Sweet perhaps.

And as a social worker, the idea that any colleague would behave that way makes me very sad for my profession. Sharing it in this manner makes it even worse.

As ever, a (still) loyal reader.

-- Tobi Steinberg

Colorado Springs

An ignorant decision

This is an open letter to City Councilman Ted Eastburn, at-large member:

As a medical doctor, you realize that when just one gay gets AIDS, his/her medical costs will break the city's insurance status fund?

You and the rest of City Council that voted for approval have no common sense whatsoever.

How will you feel when the City's insurance fund goes dry and [gets] cancelled?

It's hard to believe that an educated individual such as you would make an ignorant decision such as this one.

I hope you can sleep at night for the disastrous results that will happen for your incompetent decision on this very important monetary decision.

-- Kendell Kretzschmar

Colorado Springs

The sun also rises

Over the past several months, the mayor has been asked to remove a Japanese national flag from the airport. However, this seems to be falling on deaf ears.

Colorado Springs has several cities they consider a "sister" city and are flying a flag to represent them. However, the Japanese National has no right to fly over American soil. Replace it with the city's flag or a providential.

In fact this is what the mayor's office has been telling us over the past six to seven weeks. Each time we call, it's the same old stuff.

This inappropriate display is an insult to all American veterans, especially those of World War II. It seems now the mayor is more concerned about her view of Pikes Peak than she is of the veterans paying the price so she can have such view.

-- Bill Hutto

Colorado Springs


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