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Our governor is goofier than yours 

Lowdown

Not so fast, Arizona!

You might try to convince the American public that you've got the goofiest, right-wingiest state officials in the land, but — ha! — you can't begin to match up with Texas. Sure, you scored some major Big-Goofy points when your governor signed that "Let's-just-arrest-all-dark-skinned-people" immigration law, but get serious — your governor can't touch ours when it comes to putting the goober in gubernatorial.

Our man Rick Perry is a favorite of the red-faced, anti-government tea bag crowd, because he constantly denounces Barack Obama and "Big Gubmint." By gollies, he hates spending taxpayers' dollars! Uh, well ... unless they're spent on him.

For the past couple of years, Perry hasn't been able to live in the Texas Governor's Mansion, because it suffered a fire and is being rebuilt. So, he rented a place. Since our state faces an $11 billion budget deficit you'd think Mr. Let's-slash-spending would choose something relatively modest, as an example of government frugality.

But Perry's DNA doesn't include any modesty genes, so he moved into a gated McMansion on three acres in a ritzy subdivision with the apt name of "Estates Above Lost Creek." With five bedrooms, seven baths, three dining rooms, and a gourmet kitchen, the rent and upkeep are costing us taxpayers more than $10,000 a month.

But that's not all. Our anti-government governor has also billed us for a mess of "consumables" — including such necessities as a $700 clothes rack, $1,000 for "emergency repair" of his filtered ice machine, and a $70 subscription to Food & Wine magazine. Plus one full-time chef and one part-timer. And a steward.

So eat your heart out, Arizona. Our officials are way nuttier than yours — and I haven't even told you yet about our wacky State Board of Education!

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