Reader: A look inside the Enquirer 


One of the most entertaining things to do is to scan the covers (don't buy any!) of the tabloids in the checkout line at the grocery store.

Leading the way is the National Enquirer (typical headlines: SOURCES SAY: HILLARY KILLS PUPPIES and BIGFOOT SIGHTED IN MANHATTAN).

One can imagine what happens in the editorial planning offices of the Enquirer. One jittery fellow says, "I think we're in trouble. The public is getting wise to the fact that we smear every Democrat we can, and boost all Republicans."

"Yeah, and it's coming out more and more how we buy stories damaging to Republican big-shots, paying top dollar, with exclusive publication rights, and then refuse to publish them. We've gotten away with covering the butts of some of the highest members of the Trump Team, and nobody is the wiser."

"It's true, but I'm worried that our readers are catching on. Any ideas? Keep in mind, we are owned by one of the most radical right-wing companies in the country."

"Keep on keepin' on — it's worked so far."

A staffer rushes into the room. "Hey, guys! This just in: Our lead story! "Interplanetary aliens immediately arrested and deported."

— Larimore Nicholl, Colorado Springs

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