Reader: Dispatches from the bunker 


It's fun to imagine what goes on in the inner sanctum bunker in the basement of the White House when Trump's closest advisors meet with him.

Trump: "Where's my former campaign manager Paul Manafort?"

Aide: "Uh, he's in prison, sir."

Trump: "That's OK, I'll see him on visiting days. And if they convict him of anything, I'll pardon him. No one can call that 'obstruction of justice.' If Mueller indicts me, I'll claim executive privilege and then pardon myself. And as I said during the campaign, I could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose voters. My voters love me! I'm making everything great! By the way, where's Scott Pruitt?"

Aide: "He's over there in his private soundproof phone booth making travel plans."

Trump: "What's the latest on the wall against Mexicans?" (A map is shown, with an artist's rendering of the proposed wall.)

Trump: "Not bad, but where are the machine-gun towers? I want those! This will be the greatest wall ever! Better than the Berlin Wall, the Wall of China, and the Maginot Line!"

Aide: "What if those sneaky Mexicans simply go north and get into the U.S. from Canada?"

Trump: "Yeah, and I wouldn't put it past that back-stabbing Justin Trudeau to help them."

Chief of Staff Kelly (under his breath): "Moron..."

Attorney General Sessions: "Let us pray..."

Sarah Sanders: "What lies do you want me to tell the press after this meeting? Remember, I can lie through my teeth without batting an eyelash as well as Kellyanne Conway. Or you, sir."

Trump: "Go for it, Sarah!"

Kelly: (muttering) "Moron..."

Sessions: "Let us pray..."

— Larimore Nicholl, Colorado Springs

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